Friday, July 27, 2007


We had just gotten home from dinner tonight and I was already thinking about the post I was going to write about how Chuck E. Cheese is the 10th circle of hell when Jack sprayed himself in the face with mosquito repellent.

He's okay. Apparently a 5% DEET content in young eyes isn't the worst thing in the world, but the back of the bottle said to flush his eyes out and then call poison control. Fortunately I had the number posted on my fridge. Oh wait, someone took that down. Well, it had a lot of twos, I'll just try dialing all twos. Nope, not that either. Oooh, the internet is my friend. Except the computer isn't on. Okay, I'll look it up on the first page of the phone book. Great, except then I dialed the number wrong. Fine then, I'll look it up again. Fucking finally.

All this, of course, while Jack is screaming at the top of his lungs—NOT because of the DEET, but because of the fact that Alex is holding him down to flush his eye out. Barb, the nice lady at poison control, told me to flush his eye for 5 to 7 minutes then keep an eye (ha, ha) on him to see if it was bothering him, in which case we should contact our doctor.

So then I take a turn with the flushing. And all Jack can do (other than fight with every inch of his surprisingly strong little body) is yell over and over, "Water makes me sad! Water makes me sad!" With a "My eye is all better!" thrown in every once in a while for good measure. Are you aware of how long 5 to 7 minutes is? We got maybe 3 or 4 done.

Thankfully, we weren't woefully unprepared for a real poison emergency, but I did learn something about not being able to remember emergency phone numbers when you need them.

FYI, the number for poison control is 1-800-222-1222. Maybe put it on your refrigerator. With some sort of adhesive.

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