Saturday, August 18, 2007

Nothin' Itsy Bitsy About It

Thursday night after the kids were in bed and the night was dark, Alex decided to venture out our back, sliding glass door. Why, I don't remember. He didn't make it out though, because just prior to running into it headfirst, Alex saw a giant spider building a web about three inches from the door.

After he'd shrieked like a little girl (or boy, if you're a Stimey) and recoiled, he remembered that he was safe behind the glass and invited me over. So we sat and watched nature for awhile.

So. Fucking. Cool.

Spiders, of which I have an intense fear, are badass little creatures. We had the perfect vantage point from which to watch this thing spin its web. I think it defied the laws of physics, I really do. If one of the laws of physics is that spiders can't walk on air. It was amazing to see his (her?) little legs moving so fast and so adeptly to build this incredible structure.

How do they know how to do that? Humans are so screwed in the instinctual knowledge category when we stack ourselves up against animals that can stand minutes after they are born, lost dogs who can walk hundreds of miles to find their people, and spiders that can spin webs without four years of architecture school.

Of course Alex decided to help. At some point I went back to my computer and Alex disappeared outside. I didn't put much thought into it until I heard more screaming. I ran up to the window and asked, "What's out there?" Alex said, "Something that makes a lot of noise; I’m coming back in!"

It turns out that he had been out there trying to catch bugs to throw into the spider's web and had come across a giant cicada. At this point, Alex's attention shifted from the spider to the cicada. "What does he want, do you think?" he asked. Then he proceeded to answer with his totally sane opinion: "He wants to eat us, that's what."

Scared off, we left the bug watching to the cats and hand out for awhile. Not fifteen minutes later when Alex checked back, the spider web was entirely gone. We think the cicada flew into it and took it out.

Alex's response? “Dude, nature’s a hideous bitch goddess, huh?”

3 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    Thanks for the laugh. What a riot he is!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. You have no idea what living with him is like. He's a funny dude. Although it sounds like you have one of those too.

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Thanks for commenting! May you be visited by unicorns and kittens.