Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What's the Trick You're Going To Do?

At Jack's preschool, there is a once weekly class called mini-movers. They go and sing and stretch and play large muscle games. It's really fun. The teacher plays a game sometimes called "Spooky Doo." She says, "Hey there, [insert child's name here] Spooky Doo, what's the trick you're going to do?" Then the child does something funny like crossing their eyes or stomping their feet, or some other silly thing, then she moves on to the next child.

Today I was co-oping, so I got to witness this first hand:

Teacher: Hey there, Jack Spooky Doo, what's the trick you're going to do?

Jack: {burp}

I was so proud.

That's right, Jack has learned to burp on demand and he really enjoys it. Some days he'll sit on the couch and just burp over and over.

He does know that he should say excuse me, and sometimes he actually does. So then it's: {burp}, "excuse me," {burp}, "excuse me," {burp}, "excuse me," and so on.

I should point out here that burping is one of the things that really grosses me out. Not if it's an occassional well-earned, I-just-drank-a-can-of-soda-and-now-I-have-to-depressurize sort of way, but small, needless burps give me the willies.

One morning last week Jack crawled into bed with me early in the morning and slept with me for awhile. Then at some point he started burping. Over and over. And over. And then a little more. I kept telling him that he needed to stop. Then I told him if he didn't stop he had to get out of bed. Then I started counting every time he burped and told him that when I got to three he would be forcibly ejected from my bed.

About two minutes later when I'd booted him and he was laying on the floor at the foot of the bed, I was finally satisfied.

A note here: I have a husband and three male children. Those three children will eventually be teenagers. I feel like this is the gentle beginning to a horrendous life of on-demand burping that will eventually end in my stay at an insane asylum. As a mom to three boys I fear that I will be destined to a life of enduring grossness.

Laugh if you will, but karma will come to get you too. Especially those of you surrounded by small, gross children.

9 comments:

  1. Well. It's better than farting, right?

    Heh.

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  2. Oh dear lord, I feel your pain! I have seen the future (yours) and I am afraid. Very afraid. ;-) Do you have any female pets --you know, strength in numbers and all that stuff. LOL

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  3. Yes, better than farting. But we get our fair share of that around here too.

    And fortunately we have all girl pets (2 cats, 1 dog), mostly because we don't like male pet "bits." But at least I feel like I have a wee bit of sister solidarity.

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  4. Okay, this is where your husband has to take a stand. If he doesn't do it himself - you'll have much better luck nipping it in the bud.

    Unfortunately - husbands are usually like small children when it comes to those fun things with their bodies.
    Good luck!

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  5. Yeah Boo does that to, he thinks it is HILARIOUS!!!

    The girls can burp on demand. My husband taught them how to breathe while doing it and now they all can burp the alphabet. Noice.

    Until Too vomited....

    Oh, how they laughed..... Ikk.

    Wait till they discover they can light their farts.... or the joys of a 'dutch oven' inflicted on the little brother. Or wife.

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  6. I had to LOL at that. But with 3 boys and a husband here, I have to deal with my share of burping and farting too. I knew a kid when I was younger that could fart on demand. It was really disgusting. The burping freaks me out too though, I'm always afraid they will puke and I don't do puke well. What did Jack's teacher say when he did that??

    Oh, and my lovely MIL taught my boys to put their thumb on their forehead so whoever is last "eats it". Isn't that great???

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  7. I must be living in a bubble because my two sons and husband have been respectfully non-gross except for one brief burping period by young one that I nipped in the bud. Said something like he wouldn't be able to stop and wouldn't that be embarassing? Hey, for all I know that's true.

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  8. Jack's teacher was a bit surprised. "Did he just burp at me?" she asked. And then she reminded him that he has to say excuse me and then she let it go. I did a fair amount of embarrassed eye rolling.

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  9. Oh, just wait till the arm farts start.....

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