Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Stimey, We Have a Problem.

You may remember Math Night. At that time I swore to myself that I would not go to one of those special academic evening elementary school events again. But of course that was a lie and I had to acknowledge that if there were ever an evening elementary school event my kids would enjoy, it'd be Space Night.

I had no idea what to expect, but there was talk of a movie about Mars, vague space-related activities, and a replica of a space suit in the library. All right then. Suck it up, Stimey, we're headed to Space Night.

Our first stop was a classroom where we raced balloon rockets. At least Sam and Jack did. Quinn played with the water fountain for awhile and then futzed around behind an easel while I pretended I didn't see him. Sort of fun.

But REALLY FUN? The. Space. Suit. in. the. Library.

Meet Spaceman Super-Cool:

And his sidekicks, Spaceman Fishy-Face and Spaceman Tiny-Butt:

Then it was our turn to go to the little tent-planetarium they'd set up in the gym. It was pretty cool, after I convinced Quinn that the boogieman wasn't inside waiting for us.

There was one dicey sequence of events when the kid next to us said, "Excuse me, I don't feel very well." Visions of a tiny tent filled with the fumes of some other kid's vomit and the resulting stampede through the nylon flashed through my mind. Fortunately he made it out with no involuntary emissions.

But then the door-zipper separated, letting in a shaft of light from the bright gymnasium. And for some reason, while he was fixing it, the guy in charge turned off the fan that kept the tent inflated. The ceiling got lower and lower and I started placing bets in my head about who would panic hardest when it collapsed onto us. Quinn is a great shrieker and Jack has been known to participate in semi-regular freak-outs about lesser things, but Sam's a wild card. You never know when he's just going to lose it completely.

Again, happily, we were saved from this eventuality, and the rest of the presentation went smoothly.

It was 7 o'clock by this time and the kids were supposed to go to the music room to watch Roving Mars and the parents were supposed to go to the media center for a PTA meeting. My three little dudes filed into the music room and I asked the lady in charge, "Really? I just leave 'em here and go to the meeting?" After she assured me that they would be there until I came back for them and I said, "Mine's the little blond one. I'll be in the PTA meeting if he needs me," I headed to the PTA meeting.

About 15 minutes later when the intercom came on and a voice said, "Attention, parents," I knew they were talking to me. I'm not sure how I knew, but I did. The voice continued:

"We have a lost child in the office."

Hey! I have some children!

"We think his name might be Chris."

Hmmmm. Chris sounds a lot like how a two-year-old might say "Quinn."

"He looks like he's about two or three years old."

That's funny! Quinn is two and a half.

"He's wearing a red shirt..."

Dude! Quinn's wearing a red shirt!

"...with penguins on it."

Does anybody out there think that description might fit...


The rest of the evening is lost in a fog of wandering the halls trying to keep Quinn happy after we had to leave the PTA meeting after he refused to shut the fuck up for four seconds. And I pretty much had to stay to take Sam and Jack home after the movie. So I followed Quinn around the school as he searched for the candy he was sure was there somewhere. I don't know where he got that idea because he's never been given candy at the elementary school before, but the idea was there and it was strong. And it involved a lot of him pointing to his mouth and saying, "I want candy. In my mouth. I want candy. In my mouth."

The movie finally ended and I was relieved to see that both Sam and Jack were still in the room and that Ms. Your-Kids-Will-Be-In-This-Room-Until-You-Get-Back had only lost one of my children.

And thus ended Space Night. It wasn't an entirely smooth trip, but I think I'll give myself a little latitude and put this in the "Positive Experience" column.


  1. How do you survive this stuff?? I have to admit I was cracking up though. So will you be going for History Night?? ;)

  2. Ooo dear me yes. The power of positive thinking. You just have to keep the ledger in credit if we also wish to maintain our sanity.

    This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

  3. That space suit is the coolest thing I have ever seen... take me?

  4. Kelly, I will NEVER go to history night. Oh, who am I kidding? Sam would never let me stay home.

    Maddy, do you still have your sanity? I'm happy to hear that at least one of us does. :)

    Girl, I KNOW! I wanted to get in it too, but no other parents were in there, so I thought that might just be embarrassing.

  5. Sounds like the positive won out in the end. Well sort of. SPace night does sound so much cooler than history night and math night. But I thought I was going to be an astronaut and even went to space camp, so I'm a little geeky in that way (well a lot of ways really).

    Great pictures! Lose the history flyer when it comes in the backpack...

  6. Your school is too cool! We don't have that sorta stuff here. But then again they don't lose my children *snigger*

    'after he refused to shut the fuck up for four seconds'
    and this:
    "I want candy. In my mouth. I want candy. In my mouth."

    Nearly made me wet my pants!

    Loving you Stimey.



  7. Yeah. Positive. But ohboy!

    There used to be an astronaut suit that you could try on at the Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt. Don't know if it's still there, but it was really cool!

  8. Ange, you went to space camp? That's awesome.

    Loving you too, Kelley!

    WM, I still have to make it to Goddard someday. I keep meaning to and keep not making it.


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