Potty training seems to be all the rage these days.
All the cool kids are doing it.
Even though I’m not entirely interested in spending my days cleaning pee out of my carpets, reading Everybody Poops on a loop while I sit in the bathroom with my toddler, and clapping every time he sits on his potty, Quinn is exhibiting all the signs of readiness.
The most obvious one being his steadfast determination to wear underpants rather than diapers at all times and his announcements that he wants to pee in the potty. It’s hard to misinterpret that.
So in the interest of showing lazy parents everywhere how to potty train their children waaaaaay after they’re ready, I present Quinn’s Tutorial on Peeing in the Potty:
Get your mom’s attention by stridently shrieking about underpants all day long. Extra points if you let her get your Finding Nemo underpants halfway on before you start screaming for “Thomas the Tank Engine! Thomas the Tank Engine!”
Display an increasingly hostile and demanding side of yourself if your mom doesn’t give you enough M&Ms, or if—God forbid!—she eats one herself. Demand that she regurgitate it and give it back to you.