I Have Butterflies

I’ve been sort of avoiding worrying about my guys starting school tomorrow. And by “my guys,” I mostly mean Jack. I’m sure we’ll have some bumps with Sam, but I’m not too worried.

I’m scared shitless about Jack.

Today was their school’s open house. All the kids found out who their teachers are and visited their classrooms. Everyone was so nice. Both Sam and Jack’s teachers are so adorable it almost hurts, and Jack’s support team came by to introduce themselves and to ask how they can best help him.

Jack did great, although he got a little overwhelmed after being dragged around the chaotic school for a couple hours. And he panicked a little bit when he thought I was leaving him.

But he says he’s excited for tomorrow. And he explored his classroom and knows his teacher’s name, and knows what bus he’s supposed to come home on.


He says when he sees kids in his class that he’ll say, “Hi. I’m Jack. Wanna play?”

And his support team knows he’s sneaky and a wanderer. I made sure to tell them that because I don’t want to find the kid wandering around on the main street as I drive by.

I packed their backpacks and lunches tonight. I’ve never done this before, but I wrote cheesy notes and put them on sticky notes in their lunch boxes.

Tomorrow morning we’ll all get in the car and drive the mile and a half to school. I’ll help Jack to his line-up area and Alex will walk Sam and his giant bags of school supplies to his line-up area. I’ll take photos and watch Jack and Sam disappear into the school year.

And then I’ll go home and wait. My heart will be vulnerable.

And I’ll hope that when the bus comes at 3:30, that both Sam and Jack will be on it. And that they’ll be happy. And that they’ll want to go back for 179 more days.

23 thoughts on “I Have Butterflies

  1. Okay. We’re all in this. Hearts vulnerable. Worried. Anxious. Scared out of our minds. The only difference is the starting date. We go back on the 3rd.

    Courage, my friend. And faith.

  2. Awe, good luck. That will be me Wednesday. Tomorrow night, we have an ice cream social/meet the teacher. Wednesday the two older girls start (although Meenie gets 1/2 days this week to ease into kindergarten) and Moe has her open house Friday. My girls are all comfortable with the classrooms and teachers – there are only one per grade, so they are pretty familiar. Thats one thing I love about a small school. Even Moe knows her way around from going with me when I volunteer and to basketball games.

    Enjoy the quiet and start taking Quinn out for “mommy and me coffee dates” (thats what Moe and I did once a week last year. We may continue it on her days off (she only goes three mornings a week).

  3. I agree with Elaine –it’s such a leap of faith. Makes me feel kinda cowardly for home schooling! Well, just a little. Be gentle with yourself today; I imagine you will feel beyond raw until the make it home okay.

  4. I know those butterflies. Mine are all about my kindergartener taking the bus to school for the first time on Thursday. I keep thinking I might have to drive him on the first day instead.

  5. Oh boy. Been there, done that — every damn year. Mine go back a week from tomorrow, and my stomach hurts thinking about it. Again.

    Jack will do well, and it sounds like his support team knows the drill. Just make sure you keep in touch with them — it will make you feel calmer — and remember that it will take a little while for them to get to know him. But they WILL get to know him. I remember panicking early in my son’s kindergarten days that his aide wasn’t “getting” him. I was wrong.

    Keep busy today, and use your Lamaze breathing if you have to. (I found it useless in labor, but reasonably helpful in parenting situations.)

    I predict that they will come home tired but excited and happy.

  6. I don’t think it gets easier as they get older either. My boy will be starting second grade on Tuesday and yes, in some ways I look forward to it but mostly the thought of sending him off to school rips me to pieces.

    Hang in there hon. It’ll be good.

  7. I just dropped off the kids at school. Kept my cool when we talked to the teachers, and when the door finally closed…I bawled my eyes out!!!! David had to escort me to a corner so I can get my act together. Hopefully, you had a better morning!

  8. I feel for you. I just dropped Jonathan off at kindergarten (Jason took the girls). My baby is gone all day now!! He was ecstatic, I wanted to cry. Do you think it gets easier?

    ~C

  9. You aren’t the only one! At school this morning I witnessed many nervous parents dropping their kids off at school. I’m hoping that the first day of school went well- for you and them! Can’t wait to hear how it went!

  10. And by the way, the parental nervousness made me almost want to cry! Can you imagine what a wreck I’ll be next year when Little Miss Techie starts kindergarten? I’ll need a lot of hand holding!

  11. So it’s done now, that first day. It’s the only first day of school this year so no matter how it went – you’ve gotten past the hurdle. I imagine it was fine and the boys were happy and excited. And I am also thinking you were SO relieved. :)
    Hope I’m right.

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