The Culture of the Waiting Room

One of the things I wish I’d done differently when it comes to Jack and his autism is that I wish I’d pursued private therapy earlier. We really just started speech therapy and OT this year. I listened to the school system when they said he didn’t need speech or OT because his deficiencies didn’t affect his ability to learn.

I kind of beg to differ, but we all know that. My point is that it finally occurred to us that we could put Jack in private therapy—at least until our insurance runs out. So now we go to speech therapy and occupational therapy a couple of times a week. Jack will also be starting his first social skills group next month.

I know. You all thought I was more together than this, huh? Seriously. I never got the manual telling me what to do, or I would have put him in speech therapy two years ago.

I’ve been using our waiting room times to study the other (mostly) moms that take their kids to therapy. Except for that one time that my other kids weren’t with me. That time I fell asleep.

It can be embarrassing to be me.

Anywho.

It’s interesting to me that I am clearly the newbie in every one of these waiting rooms. I have yet to meet anyone who has started coming more recently than me.

At our occupational therapist’s office, I followed the sign that was posted on the front door the first day that said to go around to the side door. There’s a cold, dank little waiting room there. The rest of therapy rooms are part of a house. Other parents seem to “go upstairs” frequently. I think some of them wait up there while their kids are in sessions.

Our therapist comes to get Jack and brings him back when the session is over. The billing person comes down to get my check. Other parents wander in and out and their kids go find their therapists by themselves.

I’ve only been upstairs once, during Jack’s evaluation. And I’m really curious what it’s like up there during session hours. Do they have coffee and cookies? Do they get to observe their child’s session? It’s like the VIP room and I can’t get past the velvet rope.

Speech therapy is a little different because our regular session is at the same time as a group of kids that have a social skills group immediately following their private sessions.

So they all kind of know each other and the parents know the siblings’ names and stuff. And because we’re only one family, they picked up our names really fast. (Especially because I have to yell at them by name a lot because corralling them is like herding cats.) All I know is that the kid with the same color hair as Quinn is named Ben.

But I’m learning. I’m learning to not feed them junk food on therapy days because Ben’s mom brings Doritos that she insists he share with all the other kids. (My kids loooooove Ben.)

I’m learning that I may have to take up knitting like one of the other speech therapy moms. Because it’s hard to be friendly when you’re reading a book, and it’s boring to stare at the walls, but creating something AND chatting. Hmmmmm….

I’ve also noticed that siblings of kids in therapies have lots of hand held electronics. As do we. Because it is sooooooo much easier to keep siblings happy and quiet and in a seat every week when they’re playing a video game.

Homework is easier for my oldest son to do at occupational therapy (where all the other people are “upstairs”) than at speech therapy (where all the other people are eating chips and playing games right in front of him).

I’m still learning the waiting room ropes. And one day someone even newer than me is going to walk in and look to me for answers. And at that point, I will direct them to a different parent and then I will listen in to learn the things I was never brave enough to ask in the first place.

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Are They Twins?

When my sister and I were growing up, people asked my mom this question all the time. Even once we were teens and looked nothing alike (I thought), people still asked us if we were twins.

See, my sister is 17 months older than me and we have enough similarities that people could ask. I always thought people were crazy.

Sam and Jack are 19 months apart, and ever since I gave them identical bad haircuts a month or so ago, people keep telling me how much alike they look. One stranger even went so far as to ask if they were twins.

One of these things is not like the others…

I think they may have to get used to the question.

I wish I could find a photo that better shows how alike they look. But they do. And Jack looks exactly like Sam looked 19 months ago. It’s a trip.

It seems to be one of the perils of baby bunching&#8212having kids fewer than two years apart. How many of you other baby bunchers get the twins question?

26 thoughts on “Are They Twins?

  1. I have 3 kids – currently 9, 7, and 5. The two older girls (who are very different sizes) get the question all the time, and the younger girl and boy also get it. They think it’s great. Maybe it will come in handy someday. Might be an easy Halloween costume!

  2. my brother is 14 months younger than me and growing up and even now that we’re in our early 20s, we get asked that fairly often. he and my older brother have even been asked that and they’re 5 years apart.

  3. I don’t think I baby-bunched. Mine are just over 2 years apart and no, we never got the question. But I love that – baby-bunching. I might have tried it if I had known it was a thing!

  4. I get that all the time, which always surprises me since they are two years apart. Usually, it is when they are in a shopping cart and people can’t really see the size difference. However, the size difference is pretty small, since their weights are only 4 pounds apart.

  5. I have a 7(boy) 6(girl) and 4(girl) the 2 girls who are 22 months apart. I am always getting asked if they are twins. I have even gotten had to argue with complete strangers that they were not twins. (I was there and trust me they are not twins) some people.

    This year the younger one is in pre k which is in the the other two’s school. Teachers and kids have called after the younger one asking where she was going thinking she was the older one.

    For the record they are the same height and weight and have the same hair color other then that they look and act different.

  6. I’ve gotten the question a lot but not about any of my siblings (my brothers are 8 and 12 years older than me) but about one of my friends whom I call my little sister. We are a little under a year apart from each other and it’s scary how much we look like. Everywhere we go, we get asked if we’re twins and no one believes us when we say that we aren’t even related. Funny how that happens.

  7. Yes, I get asked about my older 2 ALL them time (6 and almost 4) and they are almost 2 1/2 years apart. I think they look like sisters, but not at all like twins, especially when standing up. We’ll see how the littlest one does since she looks so much like Sydney when she was a baby. Although I do have a friend who has twins and the one is so much taller than they other, they almost DON’T look like twins…life is crazy!

  8. I have to admit, I sometimes get confused about which kid I’m looking at, Sam or Jack, when you post photos.

    Poor Quinn. You know they are going to tell him he was adopted.

  9. Sam and Jack look a lot more alike than my twins ever have. Just a biological throw of the dice, but I’ll bet there are lots of relatives that have their smile. I have had people argue that my girls can’t be twins.

  10. The picture of Jack in the recliner with Quinn, the first thing that popped into my mind was how much he looked like Sam. And the 2nd was how much your Quinn reminds me of my Mooser. They can be pseudo-twins if Quinn ever feels left out. ;)

  11. My kids are 8 and 5 — I am constantly asked that and the oldest (who is shorter than average for her age) HATES it. I can’t decide if people ask because they are within 6 inches of each other or if it is because they are Asian and look nothing like me. They also don’t look that much alike and are not biologically related to each other.

    Although the oldest hates the twins comment we all like that one better than “are those your kids” or “are they REALLY brother and sister.”

  12. Never because my middle child is so small for his age and his brother is average height. Now I have gotten that question for the middle child and his sister who are actually 3 years apart! (Not popular with the middle child of course…)

  13. Well I actually have twins. But people don’t always ask if they are twins. And not just because they are a girl and a boy. For the first year, the boy had a full head of hair and the girl was completely bald. People automatically assumed he was older. Now that she is only partially bald (I’m still waiting for that hair damn it!) people do ask about them being twins.

    But I always hear about how much my two boys look alike. I *sort of* see it… We’ll see. They would be considered baby bunched being 18 months apart – but the older boy is HUGE and the younger boy is TINY so you would never think they were twins.

  14. Half the reason I want to have kids is so I can give them haircuts myself. The other half of the reason is so I can put them on the little bike seat that fits on the back of an adult bike, and then take them on daytrips.

  15. 3 boys here too, I get the question all the time, and I don’t think my older two look alike at ALL. The baby looks EXACTLY like my middle child, so I am pretty sure there will be more of the same.

    I have always (as long as I have read your blog) thought Sam and Jack looked like twinkies:)

  16. Your boys are darling and don’t look like twins. But that’s because we have our own version of this this at home….my kids are 3-4 inches different in height and about 5 pounds different in weight. At 3 and 4 1/2, you really can’t even tell who did what drawing. ;-) Thanks for the plug!!!

  17. Actually, to me, Jack and Quinn look like (fraternal) twins … are they pretty close in height at this point – or is it just the camera?
    Growing up, as I was taller than my 2-years-older sister, *everyone* thought I was the older child. This was very annoying to her, though not to me! : )

  18. I get that and the boys are 2 1/2 years apart and look nothing alike. It happens when I’ve got them dressed somewhat similar. Goes to show that people really, really don’t look below the surface.

    My favorite is when my sister is asked if her boy/girl twins are identical. Uh, no. One has a penis.

  19. My two boys are 15 months apart, and, they are 2 and 3 right now, and I get the twins question a lot. Maybe a little less more recently, as my 3 year old recenly lost that baby look and suddenly looks like a big kid. But when they were 1 and 2, I got asked that ALL the time.

  20. I get it fairly often, especially when they’re piled in the shopping cart or sitting in the double stroller. but I get the comment for my 1st and 2nd (19 months apart) and 2nd and 3rd (17 months apart) LOL

  21. I have 6 year old identical twin boys and a 4 year old daughter . . . the girl child is about the same size as the boys and when we are out in public, with all three, at a minimum we will have 1 person ask if they are triplets. Fortunately, my boys take it well.

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