DCMM: Top 10 Reasons I’m Not Going Anywhere Near Washington, DC, on Inauguration Day

10. I have three small children, who will be too short to see anything if I were to drag them down to the Mall. And too whiny. I’m not all that interested in listening to, “I’m bored. Where is Barack Obama? I can’t seeeeeee!” for several hours.

9.Weather reports for Tuesday in DC mention words like “frostbite” and “hypothermia.” And even though the 9 a.m. temperature is forecast to be a balmy 23 degrees, the words underneath that number on the website I visited say, “feels like 11 degrees.”

8. Even if I went all the way to DC, I would probably still end up watching the inauguration on TV—just the JumboTron version.

7. It would cost me an arm and a leg to get my family to the inauguration. And that’s if I could get them to stand in line long enough to pay a vendor a gajillion dollars for a pretzel and a bottle of water.

6. If you are going anywhere near the Pennsylvania Avenue parade route or Capitol grounds, you’re not allowed to take things like umbrellas, thermoses, backpacks, or strollers. (Or guns, fireworks, and mace, but those are things I don’t carry anyway.) Evidently things such as coolers, strollers, and backpacks will be allowed at the National Mall.

5. The Metro, which would be how I would get to DC from uncrowded suburban Maryland, will be packed. Parking lots will be closed, lines will be long. Train cars will be stuffed full. Because everyone will be bundled up in every piece of warm clothing they own, there will be a lot of sweat.

4. Getting home on the Metro will take hours and hours and hours. Some escalators won’t be running so that riders aren’t shoved onto platforms that can’t accomodate them. It’s one thing to be on a packed train on the way to an exciting event. It’s quite another to be on a packed train on the way home from such an event. It is far less fun.

3. Inauguration Day will be “the largest temporary restroom event in the history of the United States.” Yeah. I’m not going anywhere near that situation. Because check this math: up to 2 million people > 5,000 port-a-potties.

2. At least two of my kids are runners. I don’t want to end up on the news because I’m the Lady Who Lost Her Kids on Inauguration Day.

1. I have my own front row seat to history. My TV is going to be on all day. My kids and I are going to celebrate from our own warm, comfy vantage point. We’re going to listen to every word Barack Obama says. And we are going to experience history in our own way.

Original DC Metro Moms Blog post.

Jean blogs at Stimeyland. You can also follow her on Twitter. And you’d better believe she’ll be a-twittering away on Tuesday!

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