Friday, January 23, 2009

Insanaerobics (Updated)

Do any of your children suddenly, inexplicably fall in love with an item, centering their irrational little worlds around it for a day or two or a week, and take it to the looniest possible extreme until, with no warning, they suddenly couldn't care less and they're on to the next insane thing?

Does that make sense? Okay, an example.

Say your smallest and most insane child, let's call him...oh, I don't know...Quinn, watches you empty out a toy box. While you are putting away the things that used to be in the toy box, this child, this fictional "Quinn" decides he wants to do a normal toddler thing like play in the toy box.


Then, when you move it into the living room on its way to a new location in the house, he spends pretty much the rest of the day in it.

Then, at night, he refuses to go to sleep, crying, crying, crying, and asking, asking, asking, "Can I sleep in the box?!" until you give in and this lunatic situation occurs:


And then the next day he forgets that the box ever existed, even though you keep forgetting to move it to the basement.

You're not familiar with this type of behavior? Well how about another example? This time we'll use...oh, say, a youngster named Qbert.

To understand this example, you'll have to know that Qbert and his brothers use toothbrushes shaped like crayons that have little suction cups on their ends. Like these:


Qbert's mom may have been dumb enough to buy several extras of these toothbrushes in front of Qbert. Qbert, having been assigned the yellow toothbrush, will first decide that the toothbrushes in the package (two to a container) are very exciting, and take it to preschool with him, where he will show every adult and child he finds that he has TOOTHBRUSHES! IN A PACKAGE! ONE IS DARK BLUE AND ONE IS LIGHT BLUE!

Oh, and by the way, Qbert will never again agree to hold a yellow toothbrush. He will insist on using a light blue toothbrush. Qbert's mom will completely fold agree to his demand request.

Regardless, Qber— you know what? Fuck this. QUINN will scale the walls of the bathroom to locate the hidden packages of toothbrushes in their various cabinets. He will take them out of their packages and triumphantly bring them into me well after bedtime, excitedly proclaiming, "I took these out! That's great, right?!"

Jackass.

And so on. Seriously, I was going to continue this story through the episodes tonight when he found other toothbrushes and demanded more praise for flagrantly disobeying me again, but I think you get the point.

Edited to Add: THIS!!!

Evidently Quinn was busy after bedtime.

23 comments:

  1. That photo of Q sleeping in the toy chest totally cracked me up. Thanks!!

    Imagine what life would be like if Q were the agreeable child who always did exactly what you asked of him...it's too sad!

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  2. What you need, my friend, are some German toothbrush holders/timers in the shapes of frogs, ladybugs and cats. Now *that* would solve all your problems.

    I know it solved all of mine!

    I love the shot of the napping Q in the box. Priceless! (At least he naps.)

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  3. Ha! Meet my son Mooser. He likes purses. notebooks. pretend food. thick books. but the objects that he LIVES for for maybe one day and then never again? A rock. a staple. a particular sticker. a candy wrapper. an apple core. *shrug*

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  4. Quinn is so much like Oliver (but with better verbal skills). Oliver becomes obsessed with bizarre objects to (like straws - he currently has 12 in bed with him right now). My favorite is when he does something "bad" and then looks at me and says "we did it!" Actually - this is very smart on his part - how can I punish a child who is so thrilled with his ability to dismangle a table that he cries, "we did it!"? Sorry - it's too cute. Bad behavior 1 - Mom 0.

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  5. Oh. my. God. I love that Quinn! And I have a wife for him. They can battle it out for control of the toothbrush collection, bedtime and living in boxes. This made me laugh so hard! Did he sleep all night in that box?

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  6. And what Vickie said! Think how boring your blog would be if Quinn/Qbert was that meek and obedient child!

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  7. OMG, sleeping in the box. How adorable was that!?

    Um, on the toothbrushes...could be worse. I mean, at least you don't have THESE (http://teethnthings-com.amazonwebstore.com/GUM-Crayol-Timer-Light-Toothbrush-202/M/B001LQIDK6.htm). Nik is obsessed with the light.

    Oh, and, you know, if he has to be obsessed with personal hygiene products, toothbrushes are the most benign...if you know what I mean...

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  8. I have two light up toothbrushes (they came in a 2-pack with red and blue!) sitting on my kitchen counter as we speak.

    I'm so happy when I see another parent just say eff it and let them sleep in the toybox - or whatever. Sometimes there's just no fight left.

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  9. LOL...the pic of him asleep in the toybox is priceless...

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  10. Love all the photos and commentary. I would take a napping child in a toy box over one that doesn't nap any more.

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  11. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I'm really sorry, but other people's children acting like that makes me laugh hysterically!!!! You know, both because it's funny and also because, for once, it's not MY kids being little monsters.

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  12. You are SUCH a good Mom. Your site makes me laugh out loud for real!

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  13. I am cracking up! Too funny. Love that Quinn.

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  14. Lol! And don't forget about the duck-head that seems to have gone by the wayside now.

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  15. Love the picture of Quinn sleeping the box with the toy armor on top! Priceless!

    And thanks for the warning about the Crayola toothbrushes...We already have light up ones like Niksmom and I must say that Captain Computer only likes to turn them on and then stick them back in the toothbrush cup. Without brushing of course! Argh!

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  16. That photo of Quinn sleeping in the toy box is truly awesome.

    Lyle was found sleeping with his ceramic piggy bank the other night...

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  17. Ah, Quinn, he keeps in interesting.

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  18. STIMEY! You aren't trying to figure this mysterious Qbert out, are you? I mean, trying to figure out these wee ones runs the risk of breaking parental brains. We only have so much brain left to get through life, SO STOP TRYING TO FIGURE THE WEE ONES OUT. Just roll with the absurd.

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  19. my husband is on his laptop sitting next to me on the couch wondering why I am laughing -
    I LOVE the box pic !!!!!!!!!!
    And thank you for the heads up about the crayon toothbrushes - if I got those my son would have to spend 10 minutes every night deciding which one to use :)

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  20. LOL! Yes, I sadly know of what you write. When Mira is a little older, she will be doing the exact same thing.

    Until her fine motor skills and vocabulary improve, though, she'll just keep bringing me her digital camera to fix the neck strap that she unsnapped just so I can hand it back to her and have her unsnap it again and repeat to infinity.

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  21. LMAO! YES! YES! It's Giggles. She inexplicably attaches to the most random things and can't function without them. Sometimes it's a purse or sometimes it's a specific sticker. Whatever it is, she needs to sleep/pee/bathe with it or all hell breaks loose. It's to the point where I keep track of the "item of the day" so that we can have a smooth existence. until she moves on to something else.

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  22. LOL! This is just so funny! Children are just so capable of so many things. I find myself amused instead of being angry sometimes. Wish yoiu all the best!

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Thanks for commenting! May you be visited by unicorns and kittens.