Do you ever have one of those days when you discover a previously unknown talent in one of your children? I’ve found some pretty spectacular talents in my kids, but I think the one I discovered today takes the cake.
Jack and I were sitting in the waiting room at speech therapy today when K, Jack’s therapist, came out to get him.
K was sitting in a chair facing Jack, who was standing in front of her, when she gasped, visibly shuddered, did a triple take, then jumped up and ran out of the room saying, “I don’t like spiders!”
It turns out that she was going to get a paper towel.
But a fat lot of good that was to the rest of us, who were trapped in the waiting room with a quarter-sized black spider lumbering toward us. And frankly, that paper towel did not have adequate squooshing powers. Trust me. That spider was large. And he looked like he might crunch if squooshed.
Also? That spider was coming straight at me. It helped that he was sauntering, rather than running, but still. I did some gibbering and I might have stood up and backed away. To my credit, I don’t think I screamed.
Jack was closest to the tormentor in question and you could almost see his brain working. He was close, he was standing, and he was the only one who didn’t seem to have entirely lost his mind.
He lifted his foot and…SQUOOSH!
Jack’s heretofore unknown talent? Spider killing. His new title around the house? Spider Killer/Hero.
Hopefully this means there will be no more having to call the neighbors to kill things for me.
I was going to find a generic photo of a scary black spider to put on this post to fully illustrate the horribleness of this particular spider, but I just couldn’t do it. A quick image search has pretty much insured that I’m going to have some nightmares tonight, and I kind of feel like there’s a spider on me…I think it’s on me…is it on me?!…OH MY FUCKING GOD IS IT ON ME?!
So I didn’t.