I like April Fools jokes. Well, let me clarify. I like April Fools jokes on other people. More specifically, I like playing April Fools jokes on Alex.
I can’t imagine that this surprises you.
My last successful April Fools joke was when I was seven months pregnant with Quinn. I called Alex at work and convinced him that I was going into labor only to lament that my child would be born on April Fools day.
Then I had a couple of bummer years when Alex wouldn’t believe a word I said in the week surrounding April Fools day. Last year I tried to fool him with a phone call again and he practically scoffed in my face. Except I was on the phone with him so he couldn’t do it to my face.
So today I knew I was going to have to be careful and subtle and smart. I spent a lot of time thinking about what to try to fool him with and how to approach him with it. I knew that he’d be waiting for it, so I knew it had to be believable, but I knew it had to be somewhat devastating to him. ‘Cause otherwise it’s not as funny.
I don’t like making jokes about, say one of my kids being suspended, or one of the pets mauling another of the pets, or my iPhone falling in the toilet because I kind of believe that if you joke about something like that and then it happens, then it’s kind of your fault.
And I wouldn’t want to be responsible for something like that happening to my iPhone.
I decided to tell Alex that the dog broke a toenail again. That may not seem like much, but because she is sensitive about her feet and has bright “WILL BITE” stickers all over her vet chart, broken toenails end up costing us about $300 a pop. And she’s done it twice in the past couple of years.
Quinn and I called Alex up and chitchatted a little bit. We told him about the ball-throwing toy we had just bought for the dog, which led me into, “I think Cassidy has another broken toenail. She was limping when we were playing and she’s licking her foot a lot.”
Which led HIM into, “What?! Are you serious?! What are we going to do?! She can’t keep doing this!!”
And so on.
Then I interrupted him to say that the vet hospital didn’t have any appointments on April Fools day.
And then he kept complaining about the dog.
And then I started laughing. And laughing. And laughing. And, oh dear, I think I’m still laughing.
And then Alex stopped cursing the dog and started cursing me.
I’m going to have to be really sneaky next year.
Did it ever occur to any of you how lucky you are that you’re not married to me?