My Mom is Good At…

Pretty much every Monday morning, while Quinn is in preschool, I volunteer in Jack’s kindergarten class. I love doing it. The kids are hilarious, his teacher is grateful, and Jack loves having me there.

I’m there during his reading group when the kids are broken into four small groups and rotate through their three activity centers and their teacher-led reading group. I helped the kids at Table 1 today. I’m assuming that Table 1 was a first step in creating a mother’s day card because the kids were supposed to write a complete sentence about, “My mommy is good at…” and then draw a corresponding picture.

My first group wrote nice things like, “My mommy makes me sandwiches,” and “My mommy cooks really good food,” and “My mommy loves me.” One kid wrote, “My mommy makes good food like IHOP,” and drew a picture of his whole family sitting around his kitchen table.

When Jack got to Table 1, he drew a picture of me with my iPhone.

I’ll let that sink in for a minute before I tell you that then he added my laptop to the picture and drew a stick-Jack peeking over the back of the computer. His sentence? “My mom is good at playing Trace* & is good at typing.”

Except he spelled “typing” like “typeing” and left a big space between the “ty” and the “peing” so I at first I thought it said “& is good at peeing.”

And I totally am good at peeing, but I don’t really need it on a mother’s day card.

So, anyway, I spent the rest of the time I was there thinking of all the other things he could have written down: “My mom spends too much time on the computer.” “My mom neglects me all the time.” And after he used the magnetic letters at Table 2 to spell “Bolt” instead of the vocabulary words they were supposed to be creating, I added, “My mom is really good at turning on the TV.”

It’s like a mother’s day card and a stab in the heart all rolled into one.

* This is an iPhone game that Jack is completely obsessed with.

25 thoughts on “My Mom is Good At…

  1. My friend, you think too much. What he is really saying is that he loves you just the way you are. Probably, if you had mechanical hands, or were actually physically connected to your iphone he would love you even more.
    L

  2. Don’t you dare go down that road. You are an amazing mama. You inspire me to do a better job with my kids. In fact, we’re doing our own little “Camp Stimey” this summer. Only with a different name. And probably less fun stuff than your camp.

  3. Oh, I love what he wrote and think it is awesome that you volunteer in his class every single week! If I were Jack’s teacher, you would be my best friend! And if it makes you feel better, I’d be happy to share what my first graders wrote when we made Mother’s Day books. Pretty hilarious stuff!

  4. Guess what would make him love you more? I found out there is an iphone application that turns your iphone into a light saber and it makes the ‘vooomp” noise. I don’t have an iphone, but daddy did let the boys duel at his work.

    Seriously… my little one pointed at a man the other day and with complete excitement started yelling “Look a fat man! A fat man!” I have no idea why he was so excited and I was mortified. My point is, our boys say what’s on their minds in the moment and they think stuff that we don’t get is cool. And that’s cool. I mean, who would’ve ever thought I’d have a kid who thinks staplers are cool just like me?

    You have your acorn, and he loves you for you just like you love him for him.

  5. That’s so funny. Guilt is like a double edged sword. Good in that it motivates us to change (maybe) and bad in that we beat ourselves up too much!!! LOL!!! Sometimes I swear “G-U-I-L-T” is written on my forehead!

    My Mom still comments over a Mother’s Day card my younger brother wrote her “I love my mom because she takes me to 7-11″!!! Priceless

  6. I still have my Mother’s Day project on the fridge. Among other things, it says,

    Mom’s favorite food is: Pizza
    At home mom likes to: Play with me.

    What I hear: My mom orders out a lot.

    What I think: Thank God he didn’t say “sits in front of the laptop all day.”

  7. My friend J is an amazing mom, involved with her kids, caring for foster babies, and cooking organic food. In nursery school the kids were asked about what their moms did all day-J’s daughter said “my mom drinks wine!” You just don’t know what goes on in those heads.

  8. I agree! You are overthinking this. (Or underthinking?) You and Jack have much in common and typing skills are right up there in the top of what he loves in a person! (And peeing is also something that ALL moms need to be good at… you know… peeing with a baby on your lap. Or peeing with three kids in the bathroom with you. Or peeing really fast because there are screams coming from another room… I wonder if there was something subliminal in the way he wrote ty – peing – because I could totally see Jack having layers of meaning!)

    Happy Mother’s Day you awesome typist, you!

  9. Not a stab in the heart! He was listing things you were good at – things that also make you happy. For example, you might not mention that your son is good at begrudgingly eating four peas, but you might note that he is good at scarfing down eight pancakes in one sitting. You make note of the thing that makes him happy, right? He was doing the same thing.

    And I agree with commenters who say he’s proud of you for those things, or he wouldn’t have mentioned them on his card.

  10. While Gigi would say the same things (I too am good at peeing AND trace) rest assured you are a good mom, heck GREAT mom, a ROCKING MOM. How do I know? You thought of all these things and a mom who neglects wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

  11. Oh, no!!!!! Well, at least he could think of something. :) Plus, you were actually THERE to see it, versus all the other parents, who weren’t. So There.

  12. hmmm, at least you are GOOD at peeing. I do it quite often, but don’t have it down yet. Having some hovering misses in public restrooms as well as springing a leak at inopportune times. Guess thats what 4 kids will do to ya.

    I say you got off well. I’m pretty certain the things my kids would say I’m good at would include things like: ignoring, yelling, screaming, wiping poopy butts, making boxed mac and cheese and hot dogs and packing a mean time out.

    wait… whats an iphone???

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