I’d like to state up front that I am referring to a frog piñata. Back off, PETA.
It’s May in Stimeyland, which means both Jack and Quinn have birthdays, and this year it means they each get a party, albeit smallish ones. Regardless, both this weekend and next I’m cleaning my house top to bottom, ordering some pizza and a cake, and stringing up a piñata for some kids to beat the shit out of.
(I did save some time by planning virtually the exact same party for both of them. With slight variations. Apologies to the one family that has been invited to both parties.)
Jack’s party is tomorrow, so this afternoon I was putting together goody bags and trying to think of games I could force our guests to play. I also decided that I would go ahead and stuff Jack’s piñata. The theme for this party being Frog and Toad, his piñata is an almost obscenely happy frog.
After spending some time trying to pry the paper out of the tiny, inappropriately placed hole…
Well, damn. Wish I’d thought of that.
What were inside the piñata were entire smashed up newsprint-size sheets of paper. They weren’t coming out of the little hole. Frankly I can’t quite figure out how they got in there in the first place. I ended up having to cut the frog’s, ahem, candy hole bigger. A frog episiotomy, if you will.
Many, many minutes later, this is what I ended up with.
Or a professional complainer. I sat down at my computer and typed up an email to send to Oriental Trading from whence my piñata had come.
Dear Oriental Trading,
My order arrived quickly and was exactly what I ordered.
I do take exception with the condition of the Frog Piñata that I ordered. When I opened up the tiny “Fill Me Here” tab, I found that the piñata was entirely stuffed full of sheets of paper. Which made it difficult to fill with candy. (Although the extra interior packing did help ensure that it came in perfect condition.)
I ended up having to cut the frog’s entire backside open in order to remove all of the paper. Then I had to tape him back up. Not exactly as fast and easy as I’d hoped. Nor as aesthetically pleasing.
I order nearly all of my party favors and most of my party supplies from you. After this experience, I may be less likely to order piñatas from you in the future.
However, if I ever want a bright blue frog centerpiece, I will definitely come straight to you.
I’m hoping for some sort of frog piñata credit. I think what I’m going to get with that email is ignored. But at least the frog is all sutured up.
Find a bat.
EDITED TO ADD: Read my update about how Oriental Trading is now stalking me and refunded my piñata money. Yay!