Monday, June 29, 2009

DCMM: I Didn't Know My French Fries Were a Metaphor

My husband, Alex, and I were sitting in a booth at Gordon Biersch the other night when he asked if I wanted to share some garlic fries. I said no, because my sandwich was going to come with fries. Then Alex asked if he could share my fries.

Obviously I said no.

Well, what I said was that he could have a couple of them. So he got all huffy, and when the waiter came by he ordered a salad with a side of garlic fries. Then the waiter piped up with, "She won't share her fries with you, huh?" When my husband agreed, the waiter looked at me, shook his head, cast his eyes down, said, "Selfish," and wandered off.

It was hilarious, but I was a little bit flabbergasted.

Alex and the waiter carried on with their mocking of me throughout dinner. At one point, the waiter walked by, grabbed my plate of french fries and pretended to walk off with it. I kind of can't believe how far he took it.

He finally stopped to chat with us about how eating is more than "chewing, digesting, and excreting." Seriously. He said that. At dinner. His theory is that the way people eat can tell you a lot about the kind of person they are.

Gah?

At least when I asked him if this meal indicated that I was greedy, he was clever enough to tell me that it indicated that I was a good sport. He then went on about how everybody is always trying to get more, more, more even when they don't need it or really want it.

Then he told me I couldn't have dessert.

Does anyone else think this is weird? And I didn't even tell you everything. I mean, he eventually let (!) me get a mini carrot cake, and the whole thing really was funny, but I was feeling incredibly self-conscious by the end of the meal.

Needless to say, Alex thought it was hilarious.

I used to be a waitress and I never would have been bold enough to interact that way with a customer. I'm not sure I'm totally prepared for that level of intimacy with a waiter. I kind of prefer cordiality, maybe a joke or two, hot food, and steady soda refills. I don't know that I need philosophy with my garlic fries.

What I do know is that the waiter was lucky that my husband was in charge of tipping that night.

Original DC Metro Moms Blog post.

Jean writes more about her life at Stimeyland.

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