I’m Tired and My Thighs Hurt

So I keep hearing about how all y’all are going to be Hot by BlogHer or Shredded, or Half as Small as You (HASAY) and it makes me think that now that all of y’all are super healthy and svelte, I’m going to look even more NOT by BlogHer, Puffed, or (eek) Twice as Big as You (TABAY).

You know what I say to that?

I was going to write something like, “Oh, hell no!” but what I would really (politely) say is, “Oh, good for you!” and then go mutter in the corner about cellulite and muffin tops.

With this in mind, I’ve decided to suck it up and do the 30 Day Shred. I started two days ago and, yes, Sarah, I hurt too. Although I think my situation was exacerbated by my 45-minute bout with pedal boating this afternoon. It turns out that a 4-, 6-, and 7-year-old aren’t terribly effective at assisting in the pedaling of a pedal boat. My legs don’t work very well anymore.

Anyway, the best thing (sarcasm) about doing the 30 Day Shred here in Stimeyland is the peanut gallery that gathers to watch me. Yesterday it took my kids about 10 minutes to find me. Today they were all assembled on the couches to watch before I was done with my warm up.

They had all kinds of questions (“Why aren’t you doing Level Two too?”) and demands (“Come on, Mom! Do it!”). And Jack stole my water bottle during my first abs section.

I had to explain to said peanut gallery that Level One helps me get stronger and once I’m good at it that I’ll move on to Level Two. To which Jack replied, “You are really good at Level One. You did the same thing as the sisters,” referring to Jillian Michaels and her irritatingly taut sidekicks. I found this extremely sweet and highly entertaining, due to obvious physical differences in Jillian’s henchwomen.

There are a couple of things that I like about the Shred. (1) It’s only 20 minutes a day, and (2) I appreciate the fact that Jillian wears sweats instead of spandex.

There are many things that I find horrible about the Shred, but you probably could have guessed that.

It’s possible that I won’t be HOT by BlogHer, but I intend to be HOTTER by BlogHer. But my exercise program combined with my Weight Watchering is going to make me for damn sure Hot by BlogHer 2010.

13 thoughts on “I’m Tired and My Thighs Hurt

  1. I needed this laugh as I just joined a new gym last week. Once again procrastination bites me in the ass. I’ll go in on the hot by 2010 thing w/ you too!

  2. Oh, I love the goal of being hot by BlogHer 2010 if Shredding with Jillian et al doesn’t drive me to cardiac arrest first! Care to join me for the BlogHer 5K? I’m happy to cheer on the people who run by me as I walk!

    And why is it that the kids always want you on the next level??? Can you imagine the comments if our peanut galleries got together for a blogging shred party? Ugh!

  3. 4 months ago I was all worried about wanting to look good for BlogHer (or at least wanting my clothes to fit properly for BlogHer), but things changed, and now I realize I’m going to be twice as big for BlogHer and my clothes aren’t going to fit no matter what, so Jillian is hiding in my desk drawer. Besides, pregnant women aren’t supposed to do ab work anyway, and that’s 1/3 of Jillian’s set. So I’m just going to eat ice cream and blame the pooch on the baby instead of the fact I’m massively fat. Feel free to join me for a taste of the evil side ;)

  4. Woohoo, although in Level 2 her sweats are soo low. I’ve got to start back up, but I do like her better than others.

    For my first my son joined in, until I suggested cans since we didn’t have weights. I got him the cute little mandarin orange cans and he spent the last 10 minutes asking over and over if I would open the can for him :) Plus he wants to know why their tops only come to “here”

  5. Oh, yes. My son sits on the couch and watches me. With the same question, “why are you only on level one?”

    My response:
    “baby, I’d fall over and die if I moved on to level two!”

    He gives a running commentary through most of the video. Thankfully, its only 20 minutes. Now when I do the Billy Blanks workouts, I find myself praying to all of the gods to just take me. 45-55 minutes of ohpleasekillmenow! With Mr.Man on the couch saying
    “mama. Thats NOT how you do a belt kick!”

    A what kick?!

    Keep it up girly! We are gonna be shredded! Woot!

  6. I like my “The Biggest Loser the Workout” because it has biggest loser contestants rather than taut people doing the exercises. I am sore right with you.

  7. I took Little Bear and Pufferfish paddleboating last year… its a lot of fun isn’t it? But, yeah, they sure aren’t very much help! At least my shorties are still little and light enough that its not TOO hard to do all the paddling on my own!

  8. The only ‘sisters’ I can think of are the three weird sisters in shakespeare!!!!!!! Yet another trifecta of evil.

    Have you noticed yet that I’m a NERD? Sheesh.

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