What I Learned Today at the Zoo, Volume II*

Today Team Stimey added a couple of honorary (cousin-style) members and we headed out to the zoo. Meet Team Junior Stimey Plus.


As always, I learned a lot at the zoo. For instance, pandas are cute.


Really cute.


But nowhere near as interesting as fancy little displays with movable parts.

Please note the COMPLETE lack of interest Jack is displaying in the REAL LIVE PANDA
DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM! Because, look! Twirly things!
Also, not all zoo displays are exactly child-friendly. I didn't really want to explain about vaginal cells and panda sperm collection. At least not in public.

And how much do you think it would suck to have the panda sperm collection job?
If you are lucky enough to see an orangutan swinging from one enclosure to another using the overhead wires, enjoy it!


But be sure not to walk directly underneath the orangutan. I'm not going to go into specifics, but I will tell you that orangutans have a flair for the dramatic with their bodily functions and are not afraid to, say, hurl things that come out of their bodies.


I also learned that animals are far more interesting to young children if they have been featured in a Disney movie.


Also, if you stand next to the lemurs long enough, you will hear a lot of people singing, "I like to move it, move it!" (Enjoy your ear worm.)

I learned that tigers just might be cuter than pandas.

Awwwwwwww...

I always knew that ice cream was a good seventh-inning zoo activity. Today I learned that this type of icy treat not only makes Quinn really happy, but it also makes him kind of green.


But no matter how dirty ice cream makes Quinn, it doesn't compare to what it does to Mr. I Eat My Ice Cream Starting at the Bottom of the Cone.


Again, exhibits with movable parts are more interesting than actual animals. Especially if said exhibit involves the possibility of complete chaos.


And just when you think all is going smoothly, calmly, and easily, don't forget that Jack is very, very stealthy and just might be slowly and methodically emptying the soap dispenser of all of its soap right under your very nose.


I also learned that it is very cool to go to the zoo with Team Junior Stimey, but it is also very cool to go to the zoo with Team Junior Stimey Plus.

Although the walk back (uphill) to the car sucked some pretty serious shit.

* Volume I here.

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