Last Friday I went to the movies with my friend ALW. She suggested that we go see Adam, which is a love story about a young man with Asperger’s. It was a phenomenal movie and I’m tremendously happy that we went to see it.
In some places, the movie was difficult for me to watch. In fact, I was stifling big, ugly sobs right from the beginning. But the ending was so honest, so perfect, so wonderful and inspiring that it made all of the tears worthwhile.
Unfortunately, that ending was slightly overshadowed by an incident in the theater in which ALW and I were sitting. Like I said, it was Friday night and the small theater was packed. There were very few empty seats. ALW and I were about halfway back on the left.
Here is our view of the screen:
Evidently this guy needed to get out of the theater. And in what I can only assume was an effort to not disturb the people on his left and right, he decided to go over the empty seats in front of him instead of sidling down his row to the aisle.
So the guy threw his leg over the seat in front of him. And everyone in the theater could see him doing it. Although his actions were not obtrusive. Yet.
And then, when he was aaaaalllllllmost there, he’d practically gone all the way over the chair, it happened. There he was…ass up in the air…silhouetted in front of the screen…right down there in the second row…in a practically silent theater…
And the entire theater heard it. And we all tried to act like it didn’t happen.
With the possible exception of ALW who was trying so hard to not audibly laugh that she was shaking uncontrollably. And I am not normally the type of person who is like, “Ha, ha, someone farted! Ha, ha!” (Evidently ALW is.) But I have never seen such an obvious fart set up quite so perfectly in front of such a large group of people.
It is, quite possibly, one of the top five funniest things that has ever happened near me.
The movie ended. I cried a little more. I accused ALW of acting like an infant. And we’re on the escalator headed out of the theater and ALW and I and the couples both ahead and behind us all started laughing about the fart.
It was, most definitely, the most distracting fart I have ever been witness to.
Photo from the movie Adam was borrowed from Fox Searchlight. (Go see Adam. It was a great movie, and well worth your time. Take tissues. And do not—DO NOT—climb over theater seats if you are feeling gastrointestinally challenged.)