Monday, September 28, 2009

How to Lay Down the Smackdown on a Three-Year-Old Girl, by Sam

1. Invite a six-year-old friend and her three-year-old sister over for a playdate.

2. When you go outside to play, notice that the three-year-old is playing basketball with an old basketball hoop that no member of Team Stimey has even looked at for at least two years.

3. Disregard the fact that you are nearly twice as tall as the three-year-old, and claim to be playing a fair game and "just guarding her" by standing directly in front of the basketball hoop with your hands in the air.

4. Steal the ball from the small girl meandering toward the basket.

5. Ignore sad crying as you Harlem Globetrotter all over said little girl's feelings—and sports ability.

6. Repeat as needed.

7. Once the three-year-old has been driven away gives up, proudly begin making basket after basket in the hoop that is slightly lower than your eye level.

8. Ignore the basketball hoop for the rest of time.


  1. ROFL. Once again, I love how you photo-documented the drama instead of, you know, helping out.

    You should invite a bigger kid over to give Sam a lesson in being a jerk. I have a 9yo you can borrow. But then, who would teach Will the jerk lesson...

  2. One day, Sam will learn the perils of the smackdown. Is it wrong of me to have rooted for the little girl to maybe elbow him and steal the ball then slam dunk the ball as she shouted "In your face, Sam!"? Cause I totally did. (Sorry, Sam.)

  3. Oh, Sam, you just asked for a smackdown, and I know just who may bring it. It may involve a field hockey player in a skirt.

  4. Poor little lady! Looks like a scene from my house.

    We have one of those basketball hoops, and I don't think it's seen an actual ball in a year. Generally, it's lying on it's side pretending to be a balance beam.

  5. Haha! Boys are just the best. I love that you thought to take pictures of the whole thing.

  6. Children are magical, no? Everyday is a treasure.

  7. Go Sam! Go Stimey for letting them work it out, so you could blog it!

    We have that hoop. I think. Somewhere. Hasn't been hooped in years.

  8. Oh yeah. But she has a big brother, right? So she's probably used to it, she might even take him by surprise next time!

  9. Oops, read it properly Kate! The little one has a big *sister*. Still, they can be just as bad. I should know. I am one (evil laugh).

  10. Oh, I have been here...I've also, however, experienced the weirdness of that same boy trying to ingratiate himself with much younger girls on the playground, attempting to join their games like a Green Bay Packers lineman at a tap dance class.


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