“I Don’t Know…Some Zombie Thing…”

Alternatively titled: “When There’s No More Room in Hell, the Dead Will Walk the Earth.”

Last night, hordes of zombies descended on downtown Silver Spring, Maryland, and I was right in the thick of it. As were many other people, some of whom had no idea what was going on, but were entirely unfazed by the whole thing. Like the dude whom I overheard mutter the title to this post.

Our dedicated medical workers are always the first to fall.

All of you who thought about coming and then didn’t because of the rain and the tired and the inertia? You are so bummed, because it was, like, 70 degrees, not rainy, and AWESOME.

Fortunately, my friend Mrs. D J and her family came down and let me hang out with them. J’s son is making a zombie movie and used the opportunity to get lots of tape of free special effects. Considering that they didn’t know about the zombie walk until I told them about it, I’m pretty sure that my part in the making of the movie earned me an Associate Producer credit and a 10-share of the eventual proceeds.

Even the undead can’t be too careful about the swine flu.
Brainssss…Purelllllll…face maskssssss….

I just might have done a fair amount of jumping up and down and clapping my hands. Which, come to think of it, may have wrecked more than a few of J’s son’s shots.

“Where’s braaaaaiiiiinnnnsssssss….?”

I took a lot of photos. I wasn’t the only one though. There was a virtual swarm of paparazzi.

Some of the zombies were endearingly committed to their roles.

Some were less so. Since when do zombies smoke?

But never fear! There were zombie hunters too.

Incidentally, the zombies went to a showing of Shaun of the Dead after the walk.

Some of the zombie costumes were good, some were a little weak, all were good-intentioned, but this was the very damn cutest of them all:

Awwwww….tiny zombie….

I hit Lebanese Taverna for dinner (and the bookstore) before the walk and caught sight of my first zombies while I was eating.

The guy behind the counter asked if they were meat-eaters or vegetarians.
They said they were vegetarian. Pffft.

I spent a substantial portion of my meal trying to surreptitiously take photos of zombie dinner without being noticed. I don’t think I succeeded. Not to mention that you can’t even tell that they’re dressed as zombies because of my shoddy photography.

I really enjoyed the dedication to the role that some of the zombies showed at the walk. Especially this guy:

I also enjoyed his colorful boxers.

I leave you with these tips:

(1) To kill a zombie, you must destroy his brain.
(2) In case of an undead uprising, hope for shambling zombies instead of the newfangled running kind.
(3) Zombies can’t swim, but they also can’t drown.
(4) Head north. The zombies will freeze, but you will not. Probably.
(5) Remain vigilant.
(6) In no case should you take an actual shotgun to a casual zombie walk.

17 thoughts on ““I Don’t Know…Some Zombie Thing…”

  1. AWESOME!!! I love the ones with maps and purell, that’s hysterical!!! Wouldn’t want to get Undead Hamthrax!!!!

    Did you read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies????? SO FUNNY.

  2. We had such a fun time Zombie-watching with you! I cannot thank you enough for hipping us to it. “A” got lots of great footage for his movie. I think we can come to some understanding regarding film credit and proceeds percentages. I’ll have my people contact your people.

  3. I love the zombie hunters – cool idea. And even more cool – that is a *cricket* bat that guy is wielding! Yes, I know there are cricket games on the Mall quite regularly, but I’m still thrilled to think someone would have a cricket bat at a zombie walk in the US. :-)

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