That Will Teach Me to Make Idle Promises

Quinn got out of school today at noon and we had to be at Sam and Jack’s school at 1:40 for a Wall of Fame ceremony. (Yes, yes, another Wall of Fame. Jack got on it this month, but Sam didn’t. It was quite the scandal at our house.)

Well, I had to go to Target to pick up a couple things, so I figured that Quinn and I could go there, and I could feed him a snack and he could then eat pizza at the Wall of Fame. (And, yes, it does have to be capitilized upon each utterance.)

We went around the store and shopped for what I needed, and the entire time Quinn didn’t stop talking for more than four seconds.

“I want to go to the Star Wars section. Can we buy that candy? I’m hungry. I want a hot dog. What comes after one million sixty hundred? Is infinity a number? Is Halloween tomorrow? Is pretend Halloween tomorrow? Did we buy candy? Did we buy snacks for Sam’s class? Can we buy snacks for my class? Pretend Halloween is tomorrow, right? Right? RIGHT?!?!”

Well, I think I could be forgiven if, as we were entering the Target cafe, I said to Quinn, “If you stop talking for five minutes, I’ll give you a dollar.”

The talking didn’t stop, but it did lessen, and I know I heard some counting, and as I was paying, Quinn asked for his dollar. It turns out that he had misunderstood my proposition, had counted to five, and was now demanding his twenty dollars.

So then, it turned into this whole thing with the sobbing and the sad face and the demanding of a three-dollar bill, and I finally relented and told him that if he behaved himself at the Wall of Fame that I would give him a dollar when we got home.

And then all was right with the world.


For a little while.

Quinn did some behaving and some misbehaving and somewhere along the route between Target and the school and the ride home, Quinn became entirely convinced that he was owed two dollars.

Which he wasn’t. And which he didn’t get.


I tell you, that kid is lucky I (a) gave him one dollar, and (b) didn’t throttle him.

20 thoughts on “That Will Teach Me to Make Idle Promises

  1. Yet another great story. SO, I also would like to know:
    What comes after one million sixty hundred?
    and
    Is infinity a number?
    And, when did preschoolers / kindergartners learn about infinity??
    Congrats to Jack.

  2. While I’m sure this wasn’t even remotely funny at the time, your account is hilarious!

    Perhaps a call to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing with Quinn’s incessant talking will make them consider a $3 bill!

    Or perhaps a Camp Stimey 2010 field trip visit would be better way to get results!

  3. Are we *sure* your children aren’t related to my children??
    I used to have a 3-rouble bill once. Someone gave it to me. I always thought it was a ridiculous sum, I wonder whether it was a fake? Looked like real money, but who knows? Anyway, why fake 3 roubles, that’s only about 12 cents anyway, right?!

  4. Eli still falls for that “more is better” trap so he would take 2 pennies over a dollar bill.

    Of course, I take all money back when he falls asleep and blame the tooth fairy, so I’m not exactly one to emulate.

  5. Just remembering the constant chatter makes me feel tired! That is one great pout face (sitting in the corner with a dollar, yet), and my daughter C is a master at pouting.

  6. I love that sullen look on his face while clutching his dollar. He won, yet he’s still pissed about it. Oh, if you owed me a dollar for every time Lumpyhead looked at me like that. . . wait a minute. YOU OWE ME ONE MILLION SIXTY HUNDRED AND ONE DOLLARS!

    You can pay me on pretend Christmas.

  7. When I was a child, I apparently never stopped talking. My mother made up a game for me to play–”Quaker Meeting”, which involved being as quiet as possible for as long as possible. I don’t remember getting anything for playing it, but always fell for it anyhow.

  8. That last year with one kid at home was so difficult. My son played all the angles at all times in all stores. Can I have a cookie? Can I get a tiny cup of cream from Starbucks? Can I have a toy car if I am good? My tohught bubble was 5 more months til kindergarent, 4 more moths til kindergarten…

  9. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one handing out dollar bills when kids stop annoying things. Sometimes I even print them off the internet. (Shhh.)

    I hope Quinn doesn’t learn how to get out of his carseat and start flinging himself around the moving car next. But if he does… I have a prom date for him. She can pay. She’s got lots of (counterfeit) cash.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>