Saturday, October 31, 2009

We Interrupt This Halloween to Bring You the Greatest Compliment Ever

I think that pretty much stands on its own, but if you want the back story, here it is.

ShallowGal has been looking for advice on Twitter all week long. Like, how do you keep a four-year-old happy in a looooong line that will ultimately result in his being given a flu shot?

And like any normal person, I suggested The Big Lie approach.

(If you're not familiar with the twitter timeline concept, read the second one first.)


And then, tonight, she needed more help. Seriously. How does the woman get dressed in the morning? She was going to a party and didn't know what to do about trick or treaters visiting her empty home. Should she put out a bowl of candy, she asked? To which I gave this advice:


Honestly. Why aren't all of you following me on twitter? I could solve the world's problems. You hear that @barackobama? (Although I'll need to hire a copy editor for my tweets first. Jeez.)

So there you have it: "Stimey—the evil, less dead Ann Landers."

15 comments:

  1. Love the empty bowl idea. I think we came across a few of those tonite. Must be your twitter friends. ;-)

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  2. Why aren't you a syndicated advice columnist? This stuff is golden!

    We had over 200 pieces of candy and ran out 1 1/2 hours into trick or treating - I turned off the light because I was afraid to answer "Trick"!

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  3. Can Shallow make toast?

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  4. You'll need new pens next year: "Stimey—the evil, less dead Ann Landers - with gerbils."

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  5. Anonymous: Fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.

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  6. I like it! Stimey: Advice, Autism, Gerbils.

    You already know you're my organizing/decluttering goddess.

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  7. If I had used your bowl idea, maybe the town jerks wouldn't have egged my FRESHLY PAINTED HOUSE last night.

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  8. Still laughing at your response to anonymous! I'm glad you included the horse they rode it on!

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  9. Um.
    First, I do hope you know 'the other anonymous'. Because if you said mean stuff to me, I would so stop reading your blog. OK, not really - though I might.

    Also? I'm still not too comfortable with the whole blog o sphere concept. I don't have a blog, and I sometimes think, 'Oh, should I stop reading Other People's Blogs? Because I don't have a blog.' That sort of idea.

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  10. For Anonymous Number 2 (the nice one): I'm pretty sure that first Anonymous was my husband. If it's not, it is someone who does a pretty damn good imitation of him.

    I think there are a lot of blog-reading people who aren't bloggers themselves. I used to be. :) I love having you here!

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  11. that should so be your new blog header.

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  12. If you ever get tired of "Life. Autism. Gerbils." then you TOTALLY have your new tag line!!

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  13. Awesome. Ann Landers is dead? I really do have to get out more often. ;-) -Monica

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Thanks for commenting! May you be visited by unicorns and kittens.