Saturday, January 16, 2010

Another Team Stimey Outing

My mother is in town visiting and she mentioned offhandedly the other day that she'd never been to the Jefferson Memorial. So being the accommodating host that I am, I forced everyone to pile into the car this afternoon and head into DC.

I don't fuck around. If you're around me, you probably shouldn't say something that you don't plan on following through on.

See Mr. Jefferson up there?

Going to a memorial is pretty innocuous though, especially if you're in DC, although Alex got a little huffy when we had to park three blocks, two freeway underpasses, and one homeless encampment away.

Shortly after we got there, this helicopter flew overhead. It was a United States of America helicopter. You can call me a liar, but I will swear to my dying day that President Obama was in that helicopter.

And the way I tell the story, he will have waved to me from the window.

While we had such a lovely backdrop, my mother insisted on getting a picture of the whole family. It turned out to be a pretty typical Team Stimey photo.

We're like the Five Dwarves: Loony, Smiley, Goofy, Angry, and Serene.

We were welcomed into the memorial by a sign reading, "QUIET RESPECT PLEASE"

Oh dear.

The fact that Jack is hiding from me behind the pillar may give you an indication of how good we are at being QUIET and RESPECTFUL and GOOD AT LISTENING TO OUR MOTHERS.

Also, doesn't the sign know that when you use all caps, it means you're yelling?

We ended up having a really nice time. And we were adequately quiet and respectful. Or at least as adequately quiet and respectful as everyone else. I was able to take some cool photos. It made me wish that I actually really knew how to use my camera.

For instance, here's a photo of Jack and Alex.

Isn't it sweet? They're cuddled together discussing something. So cute. I wonder what they—


Oh, hello, Mr. Squirrel.

See, Alex had a piece of popcorn in his pocket (don't ask) and fed it to the squirrel, who then proceeded to become very chummy with my family, even going so far as to put his little paw on Quinn's hand. Quinn then proceeded to try to pick up the squirrel, causing Alex to freak out, which resulted in the squirrel running off with Jack in hot pursuit. Jack then tried to chase the squirrel into the memorial, failing only because the squirrel found a roped off area off to the side into which he could escape.

So that blew the adequately quiet part. And try as I might, I can't think of anything respectful about chasing a squirrel full speed around the Jefferson Memorial.

I choose to blame the squirrel.


  1. OMG! THAT'S IT!! (Yes, I know I'm yelling. Deal with it.) That "possessed" picture of Quinn you posted a little while ago? He was TOTALLY possessed by that squirrel. Like, um, what the heck was the name of that movie where...oh, um, nevermind. I think it was something like Halloweentown. *sigh*

    BTW, my word ver? taphop. I love it, I cn comment AND take tap dancing lessons all in one place. You are so thoughtful and accommodating!

  2. Maybe if my family brings popcorn to a monument our outings would be half as interesting as yours! Too funny!

  3. Sounds like a moco outing, too. And can you imagine how QUIET the 90 fifth-graders I chaperoned to Mr. Lincoln's throne were last spring? Yea, not so.. P.S. Until this post I didn't realize that the Stimey header was a gerbil and NOT a squirrel. Weird. I know.

  4. Ha ha ha ha ha ha...Our outings are never so exciting...

  5. Once, I was sitting near the Reflecting Pool with my friend Evan, and we were eating potato chips, mentioning something about possessed squirrels. I looked away for a moment, when I heard a very sharp, surprised intake of breath. I turned to find my friend with a squirrel IN HIS LAP. It had taken the chip right out of Evan's hand.

    But if you really want a good story about Evan and animals, ask me about monkeys, India, and the fact that Evan wears glasses...

  6. Unfortunately, I really have to ask... WHY did he have popcorn in his pocket?

    (And I've probably never told you this before, and I should. You, Jean, are my #1 favorite "mom blogger" on the planet. That's not a joke or hyperbole. So there :)

  7. I want to hear about India and the monkey.

    But, meanwhile, I love your family adventures. Wish we were there!!

  8. I seriously just howled when I saw the squirrel

  9. Oh this is sooooofunny. Parts I made Paul listen to and/or look at:

    1. I will swear to my dying day

    2. And the way I will tell the story

    3. The family photo

    4. indication of how good we are

    5. the whole thing with the squirrel

  10. I'm glad I checked your blog before I left for work. I will be giggling all day.

    And, I love the coat you are wearing!!

  11. This is HILARIOUS! And? Squirrels freak. me. the. hell. out!! (Was your mom scanning for rabid squirrels after that? Because I would have been!)

    They have that sign at the Lincoln Memorial too. Which is so much easier to get to. You are hardcore, venturing over to Mr. Jefferson without even the allure of cherry blossoms!

  12. Erika, I can't believe I don't have your email address. First, I have to tell you how much I love you, and not just because of the wonderful compliment you just gave me.

    Second, the popcorn: It's less exciting than indicated. Quinn had a bag of popcorn that we'd gotten at the snack bar. Alex had been chasing a squirrel with it much earlier that evening and instead of dropping it on the ground after the squirrel ran off, he had stashed it in his pocket in hopes of a personal encounter with a squirrel. Be careful what you hope for, I say.

  13. That Team Stimey photo caption? Laughed so hard I cried.

  14. Okay, that's it, I'm moving to DC. You have too much fun.

  15. Awww. not many kids have ever shaken hands with a squirrel!

  16. Well, maybe a unit on the difference between domestic animals (gerbils, cats, dogs) and wild animals (squirrels, foxes, bears, tadpoles, etc.) is in order!
    :) Couldn't resist.
    Still, it was nice to get a break from winter this weekend.

  17. I'm one of those people who reads the caption before I look at the pic and I was SO afraid that 2nd to last pic was going to be butt crack. Whew, SO glad it's a squirrel. No offense to Alex of course.

  18. Every picture I take of a squirrel, they look possessed. I swear. Looks like your family had a nice time though- it's been too long since I visited the Memorials down there.

  19. Man. You guys have all the fun, I swear.

  20. I wonder whether the squirrel is nearsighted - can't that cause the red-eye effect in photos? :)

  21. All time favorite monument...but the QUIET RESPECT PLEASE sign has always cracked me up. It's not like the NPS Police will actually arrest you for talking about Jefferson's contributions to the founding of our country, right? Maybe screaming, "SQUIRREL!! SQUIRREL!! RABID SQUIRREL!" will get you a stern warning, though...


Thanks for commenting! May you be visited by unicorns and kittens.