Sunday, January 3, 2010

DCMM: Ten Reasons Why it Sucks to Be the Parent

Being a parent is cool. There's a whole lot of love that you get to give and receive. You get to boss a group of small people around. There's always someone whom you can tell to bring you your shoes. Or a beer.
But there are downsides too. We all know it. I now present to you, in no particular order, ten reasons why it sucks to be the parent. 

1. When your kid accidentally clonks you in the bridge of your nose with the back of his head, you can't freak out and curse at him. You have to be understanding and say, "accidents happen," when really you want to cry and yell mean things and hold a grudge. 

2. Why, yes, I DO want to sit around and play video games all day. But I can't. I have to say no. I have to encourage things like sports, reading, and playing outside. 

3. I have to provide food three times a day for children who, honestly, most of the time refuse to eat it. And who sometimes cry when I put it in front of them. But if I didn't feed them, they would complain about being hungry. And then the neighbors would call child services. 

4. Sometimes you have to stack the deck so you lose Candy Land on purpose. And that doesn't even address the fact that you have to play Candy Land in the first place. Because Candy Land? Can suck it. 

5. Even if I didn't make the mess, I have to make sure it gets cleaned up. 

6. Homework. I believe that it is harder to MAKE a child do homework than it is for them to actually DO the homework. 

7. It is soul crushing to pour your lifeblood into your children only to have them turn around and say "You hate me!" because you make them go to school. Also unpleasant is hearing them say, "I hate you!" because you accidentally threw out the scrap of paper that had some very important doodle on it. 

8. Kids wake up before noon on Sundays. And they require adult supervision. 

 9. You have to teach kids everything. Weirdly, kids don't intuit what napkins are for. And have you ever tried teaching a child to jump? If you can explain that to me without using the words, "and then you jump," I will strongly consider giving you one of my children. 

10. You have to know the answer to everything. And if you don't know the answer, then you have to learn the phrase, "I don't know. Let's look that up." And then you have to know where to look it up. For instance, is infinity a number? Anyone? If you give me the answer to that, you'd really be helping me out. 

So there you have some reasons why it sucks to be the parent. And these are just the first ten things that popped into my head. I could have gone on all day. But I don't have time to because there are children milling around here that need me to explain to them that they can't possibly be bored in this house full of toys, books, and games. 

Original DC Metro Moms Blog post. 

Jean blogs about all the sucky things involved in being a parent (and a lot of the good things too) at Stimeyland. She runs an autism-related events calendar for Montgomery County at AutMont.

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