Roll on the Floor Laughing. For Real This Time.

Remember how I spilled soda on my laptop? Remember how the gods of jackassery made sure that the laptop still worked except for four keys? And remember how those keys were “R-O-F-L”?

Well. There have been further developments.

First, I discovered that the “4” and the “9” keys also didn’t work.

Then I discovered that my whole “let’s just leave the computer alone for many hours and hope that it magically starts working again approach” didn’t. Work, that is.

Then the more logical “take out the battery and swab the keys with rubbing alcohol approach” also didn’t work. Plus it ended with me ripping the “O” key right off of my keyboard.

So I packed up my laptop and put the “O” in an envelope and carted half my family to the Genius Bar.

When they called my name I walked up and began my explanation with, “Feel free to judge me…” and ended with, “…and here is the “O” key.”

The dude took the battery out, looked underneath it, and then said he had to take it into the back to “get a decision.” Which of course led me to wonder who exactly was in the back? The super geniuses? Steve Jobs? A panel of oracles? Trolls?

Well, whoever they were, they deemed my laptop eligible for a keyboard replacement instead of the liquid damage fix (more on that later). Cost? Sixty-six dollars plus tax.

If you’d told me a week ago that I should give you $70 to keep my laptop running exactly the way it already did, I probably would have said rude things to you. Today I did a little happy dance as I passed my debit card over to the Apple people.

It came back an hour after I turned it in. And check this out: ROFLROFL494949! They even cleaned the screen.

But it gets better. I’m standing there, gleefully paying, when a guy walks up for his Genius Bar appointment. The Genius asks him how he was doing and the guy says, “I’ve been better. I spilled water on my laptop.” So the Genius opens it up and tells him that the water got into the hard drive. Then he drops the information that Apple charges a flat rate of $750 to fix liquid damage on computers.

At that point I turned away and kept my eyes straight ahead so as to not bad karma myself into an extra $680 charge. But in my head, I was sing-songing “Bruuuuu-tal!

Consider me scared straight.

Now I just have to take my artifact from this little lesson and craft it into some sort of reminder to never put a drink on my desk again.

I’m thinking of encasing it in acrylic and making it into a coaster.

15 thoughts on “Roll on the Floor Laughing. For Real This Time.

  1. So is the lesson here that you should always rip off a key before you meet the Geniuses?

    Or that diet coke isn’t technically a liquid?

  2. Whoa, that was a close one. I was reading your post at the kitchen table, while eating breakfast with the girls. But I realized that Audrey’s glass of milk was perilously close to my computer, so now my children are eating (yeah right) alone and I’m safely on the couch, away from both Diet Coke and liquids. Thanks for the PSA.

  3. A coaster with sides so your drink can’t ever spill again.

    I once killed a Dell with a can of full sugar Pepsi, so I know that other guy’s pain.

  4. When I said to rinse the stuck keys, I didn’t mean the TOPS of them, silly. That’s why you remove the battery and unplug it, to make sure there’s no current going through the keyboard when you pour the (very small amounts) alcohol into the areas where the keys are sticking. I’ve done this on multiple occasions with normal and laptop keyboards (you can run an old IBM PS/2 keyboard through the dishwasher (NO detergent, just water) and it’ll work like a champ once you dry it out and plug it back in).

  5. So, I’m wondering…did you get the $66.00 charge because the liquid did not get into the hard drive or because they thought you were really cute and took pity on you? Either way…that rocks!
    Bummer for the other guy, though.

  6. This may be my favorite sentence from Stimeyland ever:

    When they called my name I walked up and began my explanation with, “Feel free to judge me…” and ended with, “…and here is the “O” key.”

  7. The coaster idea is classic! I have a book in some storage space in an attic in Wisconsin that explains how to do that. I don’t think it’s that difficult but it may involve some toxic fumes. I can’t exactly remember. Good luck on that, though.

  8. The little kids and the dog ripped a bunch of keys off of my laptop… I wish I had a Genius Bar to put them back on for me! I would pay sixty bucks!

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