What’s New With You?

“Oh, hello! I didn’t see you there! How are you doing?”


“No, not much new here. I’m still just swimming around here in the grunge of Team Stimey’s Dagobah tadpole habitat.

“Oh, there is one thing.

“I did grow this awesome, entirely new APPENDAGE!”


They are wee, ineffectual legs, but they are undoubtedly legs.

So, yeah, I am entirely freaked out by this new development. The tadpoles have been getting bigger and lumpier and more froggy looking what with their buggy eyes and ugly visages, but I wasn’t really emotionally prepared for the actual metamorphosis from tadpole to frog.

Here’s how the discovery went down: I was watching the tadpoles today, as I am wont to do, when I noticed that one of them appeared to be pooping. I was about to call my kids to watch the pooping (Yeah, I know. My family is ridiculous. And gross.) when I realized that the tadpole wasn’t actually pooping, but instead had actually developed tiny little hind legs.

Well, either that, or his poop had feet, but that seemed unlikely.

My mind is completely boggled. I’ve known this has been coming, but I have to tell you, I’m a little skeeved out by it. And I kinda wonder what the tadpole thinks about it. Is he all, “What the hell are these?! Get ‘em the fuck offa me!”

Or is he all, “Hey, Loser Tadpole, what up? I have legs. I’m going to go up top and meet Yoda soon. Check you later!”


And do you think that the unimproved tadpole has leg envy?

I am fascinated and more than a little horrified to be watching this whole thing. I mean, c’mon, how often do you get to see something grow a limb?

My kids remain largely and steadfastly unimpressed. When I showed the new and improved frogpole to my kids, Quinn didn’t bother to look, Jack was momentarily pleased, and Sam said, “Tell me when he grows arms.”

In all honesty, a pooping tadpole may have been more interesting to them.

* Note: I know the little tank looks disgusting, but I swear I cleaned it like, two days ago. Please don’t report me to Tadpole Protective Services. At least until I get to see this thing through to the end.

14 thoughts on “What’s New With You?

  1. Glad to see you don’t have goldfish in there. Our goldfish ate our tadpoles. Seriously. The food chain in action was certainly a teachable moment I am glad you won’t have to do with your kids!

  2. Your tadpole tank is wayyyy cleaner than what our goldfish are in. I wish my goldfish would grow legs. That would be cool. I’ve kinda gotten bored with the string of poop they are dragging around.

  3. Tears. I’m laughing so hard there are many, many tears. I tried to read the “Get them the fuck offa me” paragraph to my husband and could not get through it.

    And, “tell me when they grow arms” is the best part of my day.

  4. I think tadpole tanks are naturally dirty. Ours was disgusting. I don’t think I ever changed all the water though, just occasionally threw some more in.

    I haven’t grown any new limbs lately, so I am quite impressed.

  5. This just reminded me that had a a dream last night about GIANT frogs!! I’m talking about dog-sized frogs. IT was more than a little freaky.

    But I’m sure yours will be normal. ;-)

  6. First, I’ll mention the salmonella angle. As a child in, well, an earlier decade than NOW, I caught salmonella (sp) from our local creek, which had ‘crayfish’ or ‘crawdads'; OR, from tadpoles over at the neighbor’s house. No idea – I was just five years old.
    Now, to your comment that ‘Jack was momentarily pleased, and Sam said, “Tell me when he grows arms.” ‘ … is this a repeat of the debate wrt cats having arms vs. legs? I’m just saying; tadpoles may perhaps have arms; FROGS certainly have four legs. :) Or something like that.

  7. You know, I could set you up with some snails to eat the algae off the tank walls … then you’d never have to reach in to clean it ….

    But YAY for legs! (And, as my oldest would say, a little ew.)

  8. I want you to know this has haunted me for days. Limbs should not grow hither and yon. They should be attached at the beginning. But that’s just me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>