There was a year when Sam and Jack were both in preschool and Quinn was but a tiny child that was pretty tough on me. Co-oping in two preschool classes, plus doing the required backup shifts for kids that used the preschool nursery were a killer.
Not to mention that between Sam and Jack’s classes, it felt like there was a field trip to go on every three weeks. Field trips at the time were the bane of my existence. It’s tough to go on a field trip with three kids five and under. One of the lowest points of my entire life was on one of those field trips.
Once I just had to drag Jack and a slightly older Quinn on field trips, they were better. Now that I just have Quinn to take on field trips, I cannot tell you how much better my life is. That said, there are still some field trips I’d rather skip. For instance, the yearly trip to the grocery store. I can do that on my own thank you. Only with three kids instead of fifteen.
Today was that field trip. And to make it even better, Quinn and I had to actually go to the grocery store after school. Before I even left the house this morning, I had this whole snarky post planned in my head that I was going to illustrate with side by side photos comparing field trip grocery store journey and regular grocery store journey because I assumed that those two trips were going to be Exactly. The. Same.
Well. You know what happens when you (make an)ASS(outof)U(and)ME.
I hadn’t counted on the fact that the field trip was to THE GREATEST GROCERY STORE IN THE HISTORY OF GROCERY STORES—as long as you’re not actually purchasing their overpriced food (a.k.a. Harris Teeter).
It started out a lot like any trip to the grocery store with Team Stimey, meaning there was a fake shootout in the frozen pizza section.
But then the trip started to pick up with trips past the juice shelves, egg endcap, milk cases, and the turkey bin. In this next photo, Quinn is eagerly touching a turkey just because the tour guide told him to. I don’t think I could get away with that. Normally Quinn would be all, “Why would I touch a turkey? I hate everything! I want a cookie! WAHHHHH!!!” But not for the Harris Teeter lady.
The highpoint though? Touching the lobster. (Although Quinn refused.) Do you feel as sad for this lobster as I do? Not only is it his fate to be boiled alive and eaten, but he (she?) had to go through the indignity of being kid-handled by a bunch of raucous preschoolers.
Then we took the glass-doored elevator to the second floor.
And on that second floor? That’s where they make the pizza to send back to the preschool.
Oh, wait. Upstairs is also where they frost the giant chocolate chip cookie to send back to the preschool.
background has a vase with flowers on it.
Flowers. In a vase. At a grocery store.
And then? More gun play.
From there, it was off to the produce section, where Quinn saw his very first Brussels sprouts ever. I am a good mom.
Oh, but that’s not all. Then they passed out the goody bags. Goody bags! From a grocery store! With cookies inside! The helium balloons weren’t in the bags, but they gave us enough for every kid to have one.
Well. I’m not going to say it was the best field trip ever, but it was pretty good.
Sadly, much as Quinn and I tried to recreate the experience at the Safeway after school, we were let down. Woo hoo! The Hispanic foods aisle! (Also? Is taco sauce interchangeable with enchilada sauce? ‘Cause I need enchilada sauce, but they only had taco sauce. I bet Harris Teeter has enchilada sauce.)
Never say Quinn and I don’t know how to make our own fun though. Look! I let Quinn doodle on a Safeway advertising circular!
There is one thing we got to do at Safeway that we didn’t get to experience at Harris Teeter. We got to wait in line.