And You Thought It Couldn’t Be Done

Alternatively Titled: “Team Stimey Went to the White House and No One Got Arrested. Or Shot.”

The White House opened up its gardens for tours over the weekend and Alex has a friend who works at the White House and scored us a spot. I asked Alex about a billion times, “He knows we’re bringing our kids, right?” The day of the tour I noticed that my children do not have any White House friendly clothing. Fortunately, our “nice” clothes were good enough for the outside of the building.

I like that I’m not the only one wrestling my kids into photo position.
Note the lady behind me to my right.

It’s kinda badass to be in a place where there are dudes walking around with machine guns and to know that they are not afraid to use them.

I kept my kids close.

I wanted to take a photo of one of the machine gun guys, but I was afraid to do so. We’ve finally found another place where Stimey is afraid to take a photo. That makes (1) in the face of huge guns, and (2) a public bus.

Look how close I was! I could totally have bum rushed that place.
This is the president’s view of the fountain and Washington Monument.
This would be the president’s view of the fountain if he adopted us.

Needless to say, I threatened my kids within an inch of their lives if they misbehaved. Well, I threatened to take away video games for an entire week, which is a pretty big deal to Team Stimey Junior. They were good. We only got yelled at once. And it was because of this:

I tried to get Jack to turn around, but he was locked onto the swingset.

I imagine that Sasha and Malia’s swingset was pretty appealing. I imagine that Jack wondered why no one in the vast, noisy crowd was playing on it. I imagine he thought that he had a great idea.


I have no way to defend my actions in taking this photo before making Jack get off the grass. Fortunately, the guard shouting was not (visibly) armed.

Jack was pretty forlorn at not getting to play.

It was really cool to be there. We saw the Rose Garden and the South Lawn and the tennis/basketball courts and the Children’s Garden, which was slightly disappointing to Sam. (“That wasn’t really a children’s garden,” he bitterly complained afterwards.) I think he was expecting animal-shaped topiary or roller coasters or at least ducks.

Instead there was a koi pond and Jebby Bush’s hand prints in the ground.

Jack more than measures up.

I think the kids had fun. They were pretty excited to be at the White House, although the walking around exhausted them.

Thankfully, there was a people-moving machine around.

Sam got some meditation in.
And Jack tried to take a nap on the street after we left.

Since we were at the White House Gardens, I figured I should show you a photo of flowers, even though I kinda don’t get the point of photos of flowers.

I’m all buoyed up and confident now. Maybe I’ll take my kids back to the Capitol.*

* Not in a million years.

20 thoughts on “And You Thought It Couldn’t Be Done

  1. That’s a bummer that the play-set was off limits. Guess they were worried about liability issues? I’m so impressed with ALL of Team Stimey! And the picture of Alex & Quinn? PRECIOUS!

    Thank goodness you didn’t take the photo of the machine-gun-toting guards. They get funny about that stuff. No telling what might’ve happened. ;-)

  2. Last time we were there, my husband (in a wet jacket) leaned against the painting of Chester A. Arthur and I thought we might not be able to leave alive.

    I don’t think you should worry too much about your kids in the garden.

  3. The only thing better would have been if you could have gotten the yelling guard in the picture too. THAT would have been awesome.

    Bless his heart. That playground is like my equivalent to a wedding cake sitting around unattended. You can only expect so much when the temptation is so great…

  4. wow–what a day!!

    what an adventure for team stimey–and rest assured that there are TONS of parents wrangling their kids for pictures around the president’s hizzouse. just love that you caught someone else in the act.

    love it!

  5. Oh, I LOVE the garden tour — I went myself this time last year, and in the fall I dragged along my 10-year-old (in the rain). Totally meant to go to this year’s and it slipped my mind. Nice you didn’t have to wait in line for the tickets! Great photos.

  6. Hi! Is it okay if I have a link to your site on my page? I love your posts, and your humor has gotten me through a lot of bad days. I’m new to blogging, so I don’t want to offend by putting up a link if that’s not okay with you.

  7. What a successful outing for Team Stimey! Glad you had a good time! And yes…I’m with ShallowGal and wondering what is in the Children’s Garden since I can’t remember from when we did it pre-kids.

  8. WOW! I’m so jealous! When I was in DC the 1st time, I pretended that I was taking a big picture of congress but zoomed in on the machine gun guy. I probably had a gun aimed at my head from across the street at some point just in case. *shiver* I’ve seen too many movies.

  9. Oh my god, I love Jack so much. I love that he tried to casually stroll over to the playground and I love his reaction to not being allowed to. That kid never fails to make me laugh. And I mean that in the very best way.

    And what is the deal with flowers? People put a lot of time and effort into growing them and it really does seem pretty pointless. At least if you grow something like tomatoes you can eat them when you’re done. I mean, you could eat them. I wouldn’t but you could.

  10. I too think it would be tortorous to see a cool playground and not be able to use it! But who yells, “Please get off the grass!” to a little kid, while wielding a machine gun? Thats not very friendly!

  11. So neat! How weird would it be to be Sasha & Malia playing on the playset with people walking around watching, too? LOL. I went on a White House tour years ago and really enjoyed it. Very cool!

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