Holy Crow, What the Hell Just Happened?

It’s Thursday, which means that Jack and Sam’s friend E comes over to play with her little brother P. Today, our other first grade neighbor, V, and her babysitter, S, came too. (Do you have that straight? )

Anywho.

Things were going well until E mentioned that she wanted to marry Jack. Which I love because I love anyone who loves Jack. E had even found a couple of costume jewelry rings for them to wear. Well, Sam was not okay with this because evidently at the beginning of the year, E had promised Sam that she would marry him.

Five minutes later Sam was upstairs sobbing, E was confused, and Jack was oblivious to the whole thing. In fact, after the nuptials, Jack passed his ring over to V’s babysitter. I’m not sure if that makes Jack and the babysitter married or E and the babysitter married. Either way, it didn’t matter to Sam.

I know that Cliff Huxtable would have handled this in a very after-school special sort of way, so I headed up the stairs to have a heart to heart conversation with Sam about love. Unfortunately, Sam isn’t Theo Huxtable. Sam reacts to disappointment by withdrawing and screaming about wanting to be alone. He won’t even let me hug him to comfort him.

In my infinite wisdom, I decided that adding E to the situation was the way to handle it. But after Sam yelled at her for breaking her promise, she started sobbing. Nicely done, Stimey. Now, not only was Sam heartbroken and angry, but E was convinced that Sam would never talk to her again.

I am an excellent playdate facilitator.

More drama ensued with E swearing that original promise took place in kindergarten and that it didn’t count, because, you know, kindergarten, c’mon. Then there was some passing of notes written in marker on Kleenex and some more crying, and then E’s dad showed up and everyone went home, but not before E very dramatically removed her ring and handed it to me.

If this is age 8, what the hell is age 16 going to be like?

19 thoughts on “Holy Crow, What the Hell Just Happened?

  1. I am SO not going to let my husband read this post. He always thanks me for having a son because, well, you know the whole hot girls and boys chasing after them thing? Right. At least I can be grateful that Nik is an only child and can’t blame his heartache on his siblings. Whew. Glad to know I dodged at least ONE bullet.

    Ok, seriously, thi smade me giggle and then kinda sad for poor Sam and E. (BTW, Sam-E…isnt that supplement for depression? Wouldn’t show that one to Sam just now.) I think the biggest difference between and 16 will be the depths of the drama. Seriously. 16 will be way worse.

  2. Oh, E. That fickle, fickle heartbreaker. But in her defense: How could any woman choose between those handsome, charming lads that populate Stimeyland?

    Tell Sam that if he plans to take her to the prom, he’d better get it in writing.

  3. Wow! Much Drama!

    Considering my (much older) child ran off the baseball team screaming and crying today, to the dismay of his (old enough to know it was weird) teammates, I really don’t think I am in any position to comment on the nuptial theatrics at your house. At least there were no bleachers full of spectators. Or is that what we are?? :)

  4. Too funny! Here’s why your Huxtable approach didn’t work…there was no lipsinching to some cheesy song by the whole family, no monopoly money involved, and no glamming up of a cast, or a huge sandwich! (You can see we watched a lot of Cosby Show in my house). I like the Stimey approach better anyway! This post had me cracking up.

  5. We have five boys and two girls on our street so the girls are in pretty high demand. Ian has already presented Annabelle with a ring and told her they can live in his house. Unfortunately Gremlin now needs to marry Annabelle. There may be a light saber duel to settle everything.

    Meanwhile, HRH has decided he does want to be a father but does not want to get married. Yeah, he’s a keeper.

    Poor Sam. Any interest in V?

  6. Oh, just you wait! 16 is the stuff nightmares are made of! We have a 16 yo daughter and a 15 yo son… Not so much drama on his part – but oh my! his sister is the drama queen of the WORLD!
    Its worth every moment when you hear those four words every mother loves so much “Mom, you WERE right!”

  7. Ten is trying, let me tell you!

    Ten-year-old boys these days are like 13-year-old girls from the 1980s from what I can remember…

    I was just so unprepared so I am trying to prepare others…

    Enjoy 8.

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