Kindergarten, Ho!

Dude looks little, doesn’t he?

Oh my God, the cheeks.

He’s not little anymore though. He’ll be five in a month. He’ll be going to kindergarten in four months. He’s a big kid. (But he’s so little.)

I took Quinn to kindergarten orientation today. He was really excited. But he was also very nervous. He was absolutely uninterested in going anywhere without me. He was also uninterested in wearing a name tag, so I had to sneak it onto his back. He almost caught me.

When the people running orientation wanted to take his mug shot, he was displeased and made me sit with him. Yet he was okay posing for me.

Turn to the left please.
Also, please take that thing out of your mouth. Geesh.

I’ve been in those kindergarten classrooms so many times. But it’s kinda crazy that this time it’s Quinn sitting in those chairs. I’ve been waiting for him to go to kindergarten for so long, but I can’t quite believe he’s going to go.

If kindergarten requires a pointer, he is super prepared.

He chilled out a little by the time a teacher took him to do their little let’s-figure-out-where-this-kid-belongs quick assessment. I was completely ready for him to refuse to do anything. I was happily surprised when he was compliant.

Well, now he looks so big in this photo.

I was hanging out, you know, not hovering. Although I was the idiot parent with the fancy camera, per usual. In fact, I was the only parent taking pictures. Come to think of it, I guess I was hovering. (See how selfless I am in being a dork so that you can see these very important photos of Quinn getting schooled?)

Of course, my fancy camera’s battery went dead partway through,
making me the idiot parent with the non-working fancy camera.

Where was I? Oh, right. NOT hovering. I saw Quinn misidentify a lowercase “j” by calling it an “i”, but while going over numbers, he mentioned pi, so I’m pretty sure he’s going in the super-advanced class. But then again, when the teacher asked if he knew what pi meant, Quinn mumbled something about a “cooked pie.” So maybe he’ll go into the super-poseur class.

However, now that I think about it, the teacher then went off on a tangent about one being the loneliest number and how two can be as bad as one, but one is really the loneliest number—to which Quinn responded with a blank stare and I responded with my characteristic guffawing idiot laughter—so it’s entirely possible that we won’t even be allowed to enter school at all.

I have an ace in my pocket though in the case that the school decides I am too big of a dork to allow me to send a third child there. I’m pretty sure this pumpkin seed rhyme constitutes a legal contract.

Take that, public school! I’ll be as big of a dipshit* as I want.

Can you believe it though? My baby’s going to go to kindergarten. Be prepared for wildly vacillating mood swings from hysterical joy to maudlin retrospectivity. (It is too a word.)

* For you Dipshit Friday lovers.

19 thoughts on “Kindergarten, Ho!

  1. So big already!

    Hey, he got a kindergarten orientation? As far as I know, we don’t find out what class (early or late) Q-ster will be in until orientation, the DAY before school starts. Yeah.

  2. Assessment? Huh? We did kindergarten orientation yesterday and the parents went in one room and the kids went in another. Michael said they wrote their name and made a bookmark. I knew nothing of an assessment. Michael also looked terrified and told me in no uncertain terms he did not want to go to school there. So, um? Assessment?

  3. 1. The twins are off to kindergarten this fall, too. I should have realized before now that they’re the same age as Quinn.

    2. I forget what my second thing was.

    3. Oh yeah: We have that same squirrel t-shirt at our house! But it’s Paul’s.

  4. He’s so adorable. Why wasn’t anyone else taking pictures? Don’t they know this moment will never come again? That all too soon, they will turn around and find their kid is in high school?

    Having met Quinn, if they don’t put him in the super-awesome class, they;d better be prepared for a child climbing the walls. Literally.

  5. I can tell that on the first day you will be fist-pumping with joy while the tears stream down your face… I think that’s how I’ll be, too, when the time comes.
    One is the loneliest number, sure, and two is almost as bad – but I’m pretty sure that society frowns upon three or more! :-) The teacher sounds cool.

  6. I’m fastening my seatbelt for the sure-to-be-bumpy (but entertaining) ride! ;-) And, um, I’m thinking that Three Dog Night never sent a kid off to school as htye looked forward to some alone time. One may be the loneliest number, but it’s awfully productive sometimes! ;-)

  7. Quinn is just adorable! As for you being a dork with the camera–you had me on your side until the camera battery died! A dork is one thing, but an unprepared dork is something else entirely! Jokes aside I can’t wait to hear all about the adventure ahead!

  8. “Super poseur” made me guffaw out loud.

    And what if you kill the pumpkin sprout? No kindergarten? Or are you better with plants than insects/frogs?

  9. I was totally in the Super-Poseur class! And I loved this post until I read the pumpkin poem and then it made me cry. And I am refusing to send my youngest to kindergarten. Refusing. She will stay 4 forever and there will be no damn pumpkins in this house.

    (I often wonder if my camera will one day OUT me as a blogger. Especially when I take pictures of things like food and napkins and people’s shoes.)

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