You know how your kid does something weird and you’re all, “Should I take him to the doctor or will the doctor just laugh at me for bringing him in?”

My theory on that is that it’s usually better to be safe than sorry. What’s the worst that could happen? You lose a copay, right? What’s the best? You catch something before it becomes a problem.

My best story about an unnecessary trip to the doctor is a classic new mom story. Sam was an infant, like maybe three or four months old, when I noticed a little bump on the back of his head near his neck. Of course I called the doctor about OMG! MY TINY BABY’S BRAIN TUMOR!!!

We sat down in the pediatrician’s office, the doctor looked at Sam, and almost immediately said, “Yeah, that’s just his head.”

To his credit he didn’t make me feel dumb for bringing Sam in. But don’t worry, I felt dumb enough all by myself.

I had one of those moments on Monday. Quinn ate breakfast and then threw up. Then he threw up again shortly thereafter. Then he was fine. By itself, this was no big deal, but for the past month or so, he’s been doing this about once a week. With his history of chronic constipation (or “chronological constipation” as I accidentally called it on the phone to a friend of mine today), it seemed like something that should be checked out.

Without further ado, I bring you the triumphant return of the “poop” category to the Stimeyland blog. This category used to hold more posts than the “Alex” category. I’m happy to report that Alex is now squarely in the lead on that count, even with this entry.

Anyway, Quinn and I went in to see the doctor today. Quinn was mostly concerned that he was going to get a shot. I didn’t feel like I could totally promise him he wouldn’t see a needle because I figured there was the possibility of blood work, so he was pretty nervous. I was fine until the receptionist and the nurse practitioner that I saw both said, “A month? Wow.”

But the nurse practitioner also told Quinn there would be no needle, so he perked right the hell up as his worry transferred to me. In fact, his day got exponentially better once he heard the news that he got to pee in a cup. (Without peeing on my hand, thank goodness for small favors.)

When the nurse practitioner felt Quinn’s stomach, which even I could tell was FOS (full of shit stool), I felt like a terrible mother. Then she tapped his stomach and was all, “Can you hear how full of gas he is too?” And I was like the mom-to-be at the 12-week ultrasound who is like, “Oh, yeah, I totally see the baby.”

No. I can’t tell that he’s full of gas. That’s why I brought him to you. But now I feel even worse.

He’s going to be okay (fingers crossed, knock on wood, wish on a star and all), but we have to go see a specialist to make sure that his little colon is operating okay. I have the feeling that there might be a lot of fiber in our future.

Quinn was also excited because he got to see the inside of his body, via an x-ray.

You can’t tell, but he was totally delighted.

The x-ray tech was way cool. She let Quinn check out his picture after she took it. Later he claims that he saw his belly button on the x-ray. I don’t think that’s true. And honestly, I would have thought he would be more interested in seeing, you know, his spine, but whatever.

Quinn was less excited about the other part of the doctor’s instructions, which involved a suppository. I’ll spare you the gritty details, and fear that I’ve already said too much, but suffice it to say that even that didn’t work very well.

Hopefully we’ll go to the specialist and she’ll give us the magic words to whisper to Quinn’s colon that will make it work right. Because this poor kid has been struggling to poop since he was three months old. I’ll keep you posted. I know you really probably don’t want me to, but you know that I’m gonna.

22 thoughts on “F.O.S.

  1. poor baby…my poor boys have both had enemas at the ER. More than once. Bub still has bowel issues at 10, but I no longer have to count and do labor breathing technique with him like we used to…To this day I try to feel on the side of the abdomen where the doctor always says “Feel that there? That’s backed up stool.” Still can’t feel it, even if it’s there. *shrug*

  2. Suppositories! My cruel mother (a former nurse) used to keep those little foil-wrapped bastards on hand, in the fridge. In the butter dish on the door, to be exact. Cold suppositories, jeez, that woman knew no mercy.

    Anyhoo, I am all for non-refrigerated suppositories for kids in need, and I suggest they be inserted on the sly, while the kid is sleeping, in the dark, with aid of a flashlight. Oh, and get your husband to do it. Nothing to it.

    Good luck!

  3. Poor Quinn! And poor you! I hate it when you go to the doc wondering whether you should be there at all and they say “This has been going on *how* long?!” It feels like such a thin line between overanxiety and neglect, sometimes!
    I really hope your specialist has those magic words for you. Best of luck.

  4. Poor baby! Yes, I’ve been the over-reactive/under-reactive mommy on more than one occasion. Makes you wonder how we kept them alive before they could talk.

    HRH had suppositories as an infant. Horrible, horrible experience.

    Grapes, apple juice, and bran. Oh my!

  5. We’ve got a doctor who is also very good at not making me feel bad when I freak out. Or when my kids tear her office apart. Like yesterday, when I was trying to explain that I wasn’t very sure about Andy being ADHD. Then she laughed at me, as she wrestled him to the table to try to listen to his lungs…

  6. Poor little dude! Poor YOU. Um, it’s WAAAAAY TMI for your comments section but, we’ve dealt with bowel issues with Nik since , well, forever. I’ve got tons of great info on good sources fo fiber and how to help keep things moving beyond suppositories & stuff. Email me if you want more info.

  7. This is one parenting issue I have not had to deal with, so I’ll come here for the most up to date information.

    I hope all goes well and that Quinn is FREE OS very soon.

    (Thank goodness you don’t have to write about Alex’s poop – that would totally mess up your stats… and you might lose a few readers.) :-)

  8. “Fear I’ve already said too much”—ha ha ha!

    Our pediatrician is always like, “Are his adenoids always that swollen?” and I’m like, “…Huh?”

  9. Ugghh, this post takes me back to the FOS problems my daughter had. Multiple trips to the doctor, daily MiraLax, and ENEMAS about once a week. Thank God THAT’S over with!
    Hope your little guy is feeling better.

  10. Oh my, I’ve been there. Yes, lots of fiber and water can help to solve the problem. Also knowing ‘his time of day’ can help. One of mine is a classic after-dinner pooper so during the times when he’s ‘in need’ we just send him in after dinner. I also got the chewable fiber tablets. Apricots were good too. He likes to tear it apart by himself!

  11. We still give Beezus (almost 5) a 1/2 tsp. of miralax daily. But my trick to get Ramona to poop (chronic constipation as well) is to sit her on the potty with a stool for her feet so that her legs are nice and comfortable. Then, I put the laptop in there and put a DVD in and let her watch it while sitting on the potty. Some of her CC is caused by her not being willing to sit and take the time to go, so this approach works for us if she has gone a little too long without pooping and if I suspect constipation is imminent.

  12. oh an area of expertise in my parenting repertoire! It totally can make them reflux-y too. Ground flax seed meal mixed in applesauce/yogurt/pudding is a good trick if you don’t want to go straight to the miralax.

  13. I don’t mean to alarm you but I have extensive experience with suppositories and children.

    Call me if you need help.

    OH! I also know of a kick ass prescription laxative.

    Motherhood has changed me. I’m all “Call me, we’ll talk about shoving things in out children’s asses. It will be awesome.”

    Laugh or cry, right?

  14. We had problems with our youngest until he was about 3 — he took his poo poo medicine daily — I forget how much Milk of Magnesia. Eventually, that got him sufficiently regular (or maybe it was age) and he didn’t need it anymore. When we were doing it Miralax was still prescription.

    good luck — kids constipation is awful.

  15. William also suffers from chronic constipation, and has since solid food started. We’ve only had to take him to the Doc for it once though… after the forced enema that was given before he could really communicate at all, the threat of going to the doctor seems to help him focus all his energies on poopin’. That, and the daily dose of Miralax (which I can’t say enough good things about… it worked almost immediately, and now it’s OTC!)

  16. Funny, my kids were fine but the damn old man cat pukes when he gets constipated and I have to give him (oral) stool softener every day. Gah.
    Let me know when you find a good colon whisperer. Ask if they do cat colons.

  17. You know how I feel about constipation/ER/enema situations so I won’t even go into that right now.

    What I will say is that thanks to a recent incident with Joseph’s physical therapist that left me feeling like a)the worst parent in the world b)an idiot c) the cause of all his issues d)like I wanted to yank him out of physical therapy FOREVER because that would so totally solve everything …. um, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I like that the doctor didn’t make you feel stupid about Sam’s bumpy head. Hooray for nice health care professionals!

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