I Don’t Mind Sick Days, But “Sick” Days Piss Me Off

Quinn stayed home sick today. I think the vomiting on the living room floor this morning had more to do with his gastrointestinal issues than with actually being sick, but because it was a pretty sure bet that he would rat us out immediately upon entering the classroom with a declaration of, “I throwed up this morning!” I decided to keep him home.

That decision was the beginning of a very long day.

7:30 a.m.: I am woken up by Quinn’s voice at the foot of the bed: “We have a serious situation here. I threw up in the living room.”

7:31 a.m.: I become vaguely aware that Alex is already up and about and remember that he got to leave town for three weekends in a row last month. Decide the “serious situation” is his problem. Go back to sleep.

8:02 a.m.: Email Quinn’s teacher to admit defeat and tell him that Quinn won’t be in class. Immediately regret it.

8:33 a.m.: Figure that if he’s going to be home anyway, we might as well work on those GI issues. Give him giant cup of chocolate milk spiked with milk of magnesia.

8:49 a.m.: Quinn says, “I’m not sick anymore.”

8:50 a.m.: Quinn starts repeating everything I say.

8:51 a.m.: I murder Quinn.

9:00 a.m.: Quinn claims he’s going to play school. This evidently involves frantic jogging in place and terrifying the dog. I wonder why he can’t actually go to school and terrify his teacher instead.

9:12 a.m.: Quinn starts asking to watch TV.

9:15 a.m.: I tell Quinn to lay down in bed and close his eyes for 30 minutes.

9:16 a.m.-9:34 a.m.: [every half minute] “How many more minutes?”

9:35 a.m.: Quinn claims that lying down is giving him a headache. I don’t believe him, but realize that his lying down is giving me a headache.

9:38 a.m.: The milk of magnesia kicks in.

9:54 a.m.: Give in and abandon my “if you stay home ‘sick’ you don’t get to watch TV” plan. G-Force in da’ house!

11:15 a.m.: Quinn wants to buy a trophy. We spend some time discussing the merits of earning a trophy versus buying one.

11:30 a.m.: Depart on shopping trip so Quinn can buy a trophy.

Quinn wins at being sick.

12:11 p.m.: I buy myself five minutes by siccing Quinn on the sick cat, who mostly hangs out upstairs.

12:14 p.m.: Make that three minutes.

12:28 p.m.: Fun with rainbows.

It’s like science and art all wrapped into one!

1 p.m.-2 p.m.: Forced quiet/not-napping time.

2:05 p.m.: Lunch and Tom & Jerry.

3:15 p.m.: Quinn, the trophy, and I head out to the bus stop to pick up Sam and Jack.

3:30 p.m.: Normal Tuesday activities ensue.

For brevity’s sake, I left out the myriad of times Quinn asked to play video games and watch TV. I got absolutely nothing done today, although it was kind of fun to hang out with the littlest man. That said, if he throws up tomorrow morning, I’m going to go to school and leave him at home.

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