My friend Heather got an unsolicited bag of Pup-Peroni (don’t click that link unless your speakers are turned off, for realsies) in the mail, which was awesome, except for the fact that she doesn’t have a dog.
Score for Cassidy! (Our dog.)
She dropped the bag at my house and I left it on my counter until such a time as I felt that Cassidy would deserve such a scrumptious treat. Just so as you know, this is what the bag looks like:
Scene: Alex comes home from work, sees the bag on the counter, becomes excited that I purchased beef jerky, wonders briefly why I bought chicken flavor (because that is the wording that caught his eye on the package), and is seconds away from eating it before the doubts start to surface.
At this point, he proceeded to berate me and the Pup-Peroni people for not making it clear on the package that the jerky is intended for dogs. I managed to find the tiny writing that said “DOG SNACKS,” but that didn’t assuage him either.
I assume that the thinking behind making that text so small is because the good folks at Pup-Peroni assume that the GIANT “Pup” on the front would be a pretty good indication to most individuals that THIS IS NOT HUMAN FOOD.
Awesomely, Pup-Peroni’s slogan seems to be “Dogs Just Know.” Evidently Alex doesn’t.
* Judges? Yes! “Dipshittiness” IS a cromulent word.