A couple of days ago, my supportive husband, Alex, said to me, “As a Stimeyland reader, I have been disappointed lately.”
Thanks, Alex. But he’s right. So I’ve decided to let Jack do some work for me, because none of the many drafts of posts that I’ve started in the past week are (a) funny, (b) inspired, (c) working in any way, shape or form, or (d) finished.
See, Jack brings it every week. He has to write sentences for his spelling words for homework and also a couple on a spelling test each Friday and no matter how surly he is or how much he swears he is “tooooooo tired to do homework,” that kid can craft a phrase like nobody’s business.
I did this once before—and will surely do it again because, hello, lazy! Also, I’m tooooooo tired to write a blog post.
Jack’s sentences are below, with the spelling word (or my best guest at which word is the spelling word) in bold, with any comments by me in italics afterward.
If I chewed longer, it would seem like I had more food.
From his lips to my hips.
A unicorn is NOT a horse.
Well, yes, but more importantly, I love that “unicorn” is a spelling word.
This homework is more than awful.
This work is TOO hard!
I will never smile. It has turned upside down.
This homework is terrible.
I am NOT glad.
These sentences came one after another. Nicely done, Jack. not everyone can make vocabulary words such as “smile” and “glad” so grim.
Ants are quiet.
This followed a previous sentence, “Ants are tiny.” What up with all the ants?
My mom is VERY pretty.
I think my mom is pretty when I see her.
The first sentence was from his homework. The second is from his test. Jack rocks.
I threw a pie in Alex’s face.
Guess which one of us is Jack’s favorite?
I don’t know what a “pupil” is.
But he does know how to correctly use quotation marks.
I disobey to kill.
Somewhat awesomely, Jack’s teacher just wrote “?” after this sentence when she corrected his paper.
Hmmmm……I just lost something.
From the teacher: “This sentence does not have a spelling word in it.” Maybe he lost the spelling word?
“Dislike” means to hate—witch [sic] I do to spiders!
I also to hate spiders.
Jack’s unable to do his spelling words. —Alex
Nice try, Jack. Your handwriting gives you away.
I am NEVER unfair…or am I?
I’m on the edge of my seat!
Tiny mice have tiny teeth.
What? Like you don’t know we’re all mouse obsessed?
I am lovely with my mom.
Yes you are, Jack. You are also lovely with Stimeyland readers. Thanks, buddy!