I Was Trying to Think of a Funny Way to Say Happy Thanksgiving to All You Americans, Screw You Everyone Else, Without Sounding Like a Xenophopic Nutjob, But I Couldn’t Do it, So Happy Thanksgiving To All of You, Even if You Don’t Celebrate

But really. Sincere thanks to all of you. Not to be to cheeseball or anything, but you all really make a difference in my life. I am thankful for you today. (And most days, really. Don’t feel tooo special today, okay?)

I like to let my kids write my Thanksgiving Day post, but Sam’s teacher came up woefully short this year. I guess fourth graders are too old to be thankful in school.

I asked Sam if he did any Thanksgiving stuff at school. “You know, like ‘I am thankful for…'”

“No, we didn’t do any of that stuff,” he says.

“Well, what are you thankful for?” I asked.

Long pause. Then, “You?”

Thanks, Sam. You’ve learned to suck up well.

First graders, however, are right in the PRIME of creating these things. He came home with a whole book full of thanks and awesome.

I am thankful for first grade teachers who create this stuff.
By: Stimey

Page one: “I am thankful for food.”

Aren’t we all?

That is apparently me and Quinn. I am bald and he is a baby.

Page two: “I am thankful for everyone else in my family.”

 Although, honestly, this looks kind of like a horror movie to me.
I identified Jack on the left and Quinn second from left, but then it looks like Quinn ran out of coloring steam. The rest of us are colorless blobs with freaky smiles.

Page three: “I am thankful for Izzy and Denali.”

His spelling of Denali’s name was, shall we say, creative.

Denali is really fat. Evidently, she is also “lazzy,” which, I believe translates to “lazy.” I just about died laughing when I saw this page and the fact that this particular character trait was important enough to be added as a label. Note the sleep Zzzzz’s.

It is important to note here that the dog did not make the book.

Page four: “I am thankful for mom.”

I win.

I got my own page, peoples. AND a heart. Some days being the mom is a sucky job. Some days it is the best. Today it is the best.

Jack’s class also made lists of things they are thankful for. Well, most of the kids made paragraphs from the lists, but Jack evidently refused and refused hard. I got this great note in Jack’s communication notebook from the teacher that was all, “Jack refused to do the paragraph, oh but now he sees me writing in the book, so he picked up his pencil…”

“I’m thankful for (1) food (2) video games (3) Famous Amos cookies 
(4) my mom, my dad, Samuel & Quinn (5) wall of fame (final) TV.”

Jack isn’t grateful for the dog either.

Me, I’m so thankful for those creative, funny, loving, wonderful kids.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And even if you don’t live in a Thanksgiving-celebrating locale, know that I’m thankful for you too. Have a wonderful day.

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