“I Hated it Googleplex.”

You know how sometimes you have a great idea for a place to take your kids that you know they will LOVE and so you drag your whole damn family there and at the end of the trip, your six-year-old busts out with the most creative way he could possibly say, “Why, Mom? Why did you drag us here?”

Yep. Today. Quinn hated it Googleplex.

Although to be fair, he was just trying to outdo Jack, who said, “I hated it 100 percent. I loved it zero percent.”

I should back up.

Today Jack had a dentist appointment. You may remember our dental horror from earlier this year. I was pretty sure that this trip for a routine cleaning was going to involve a toothbrush, some shrieking (Jack), and some gentle sobbing (me). Instead, Jack let the most awesome hygienist in the world fully clean his teeth with her tools.

It was kind of a big deal, guys.

It was an amazing and wonderful visit and began with the lady at the front desk asking me if Jack would like a private room because he has autism and ended with Jack reluctantly letting the dentist put her sharp little pokey stick on his teeth. It was more than I could have hoped for. Especially since his teeth still look good.

But, since the dental office is an hour away from my house, I thought we should take advantage of the trip by doing something waaaay out in Virginia. Hence our trip to hell, otherwise known as the National Air and Space Musuem Stephen F. Udvar-Hazy Center.

I’d dragged the whole family out to Virginia to go to the museum, although the trip to the dentist office waiting room with its giant TV and air hockey table probably would have been enough for Sam and Quinn. (Seriously, if you need a dentist recommendation, email me. If you need museum recommendations, maybe ask someone else.)

In defense of the aerospace industry, Udvar-Hazy is cool. My kids were just not ready for most of it.

If you have an airplane kid, they will freak the hell out though.

The real reason I wanted to go to Udvar-Hazy, however, is because they have a real-life space shuttle there. The shuttle that is there now is Enterprise, which never went into space. It will be replaced, I believe, with the space shuttle Discovery, which DID go to space, at which point I will drag my family back and we will have the exact same experience, just with more forewarning this time.

Seriously, people. It’s cool, right?

We did have points of fun and interest dotted around the museum, including this model of the Mars Rover. Jack looked at it for a while and was all, “I WANT IT.”

We all love that little rover.

Seriously, ever since the days when we watched Roving Mars over and over and over, we have all loved the Mars Rover. If you haven’t seen Roving Mars, watch it immediately. The bigger the screen the better. That way you will really get to see the expressions on the NASA nerds’ faces when they get their first images from Mars and erupt into cheers. (My nerds and I also erupted into cheers every single day when we watched it happen on our television.)

Anywho, there was some whining and some lying on the floor and some “Mom, I don’t want to disappoint you, but I really hate this place.” (Jack and Quinn, Jack, Quinn, respectively.)

Then, on the way home, the little gas gauge that says, “238 miles to empty,” went all the way down to “0 miles to empty,” which fortunately didn’t mean “your car will now stop on the beltway,” but I was afraid that was what was going to happen.

Suffice it to say, once we got home, I took a really long nap. I have no idea what the rest of my family did.

Now it is 11:30 and my eyes are all, “BING! WE’RE AWAKE!!” This is a problem because Alex is hogging the TV playing Skyrim, which, incidentally, involves no aliens and doesn’t take place on the rim of the sky, which is a HUGE disappointment to me. I suppose I’m going to have to go, sigh, read until I fall asleep.

Or I can use my time to think of other ways to torture my kids over winter break. Maybe I’ll do that instead.


So, you know how today went. Do you want to know how Team Stimey is planning on surviving the rest of winter “break”? Check today’s White Knuckle Parenting at the Wheaton Patch.

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