The Tale of Team Stimey and the Mall Santa

We normally would have gone to see Santa last weekend, but I kind of blew that for my family, so we had to go to the mall with the rest of the late-season losers this year. Our mall Santa usually doesn’t have a line, which I don’t know what that says about our mall Santa, but it’s worked out for us.

Evidently even our mall Santa has a line the Sunday before Christmas though.

And these jokers stood in it.

We had carefully coached our children (“You may not want to ask for the Lego Death Star, Jack.”) on the things that Santa is able to bring on Christmas Eve. (“Santa may not understand what the Fully Resurrected Mechto-Baku-Whatthefuck is any more than I do, Quinn.”) Somehow, Sam, who has known there is no Santa for almost a year now, turned into a believer for an hour this afternoon. (“You probably don’t need to take the catalog page to show Santa EXACTLY what you want, Sam. Why don’t you just let me hold that for you?”)

There was some sort of stand off here.

They always take the photo first before the kiddos tell Santa what they want for Christmas. I think that our photo this year turned out GREAT!

What’s that? I have three children? Are you sure? Okay, fine. Here.

Are you happy now?

Seriously, this photo makes me so happy for so many reasons. I feel a little bad enjoying it so much considering how sad Quinn was when it was being taken, but there you have it. He did manage to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas, although based on my Google and in-store searches, I’m not sure that it actually exists.

We did head over to the mall Target immediately after visiting Santa to, you know, just take a look at what you asked Santa for. No real reason. Just curious. Oh, and now that you’ve shown us (a) what you asked for, or (b) what you would be happy with as a substitute if Santa’s elves can’t make what you asked for, why don’t you go with Daddy out that door, while Mommy just hangs out here for a minute and then meets you at the car with a shopping bag hidden behind her back?

And that’s how Team Stimey does Santa.

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