The Day My Dentist Told Me To Stop Brushing

A few days ago, I noticed that the gumline of one of my teeth hurt. Being me, I ignored it for a couple days and hoped that it just, you know, went away. Sometimes wishing does that. Sadly, not this time. I finally decided to look at it.


The gum was kind of receded a little bit and it didn’t look healthy at all.

Here’s a photo I took of it today.

Why didn’t anyone tell me I have GIANT teeth?

I know. You were worried that it was going to be a horrifying close up, didn’t you? I took that photograph too, but decided to not inflict it on you.

You know how sometimes your gums get a little sore and maybe they bleed a little bit, so you brush the hell out of them and then they get better? Or am I the only one with a diseased mouth? Anywho, I decided to super-brush that gum area and through the power of frantic brushing and sheer willpower, THE GUM WOULD HEAL.

Like tough love for the gushy parts of your mouth.

It wasn’t getting better and it started hurting more, so finally I decided that the tooth probably wouldn’t automatically fall out if I shared my situation with someone. I bared my teeth at Alex this morning and he said, “Yeesh. You should go to the dentist.”

So I did. And the dentist says that it is likely a virus that she has been seeing a lot of this winter and that it could go one of two ways: (1) I leave it alone and it gets better, or (2) the infection is just starting and in three days, ALL of my teeth will be inflamed and painful.

Naturally, I’m hoping for the second option.

Then the dentist said that my gums hadn’t been getting better because of all the vigorous brushing and that I should stop brushing immediately. It was like I was in bizarro world. Then she told me to swish with hydrogen peroxide twice a day and I nodded, promised not to brush or floss, and left.

Then I started thinking about the hydrogen peroxide and how, huh, I think that might just be poisonous. I asked Siri if it would kill me and she was all, “I don’t know; do you want me to search the web for that?” and I was all, “HOW IS THIS INFORMATION NOT PROGRAMMED INTO YOUR ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE?!” Then I started mulling it over and I’ve come to the conclusion…I think my dentist is trying to kill me.

I’m so desperately afraid at this point however, that I’ve brushed my teeth to the point of their falling out, so I’ll do anything and I went ahead and swished with the hydrogen peroxide today. I did read the back of the bottle and it said something about being an “oral debriding agent,” which I think means that it won’t poison me. It made my lips kinda tingly though.

Cross your fingers for me for three things: (1) my tooth heals, (2) the hydrogen peroxide isn’t toxic, and (3) I don’t decide to post the close up of my diseased gum. (That last one is for you.)

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