Dishes and Ryan Gosling

I have no idea what my family has eaten for the past several days.

Alex has done our dishes for years. How awesome is that? You know how sometimes someone will be terribly bad at a chore and finally you snap and say, “Stop! I will just do this from now on!” Well, I was terrible at the dishes (and a number of other things, but this isn’t about that), so he started doing them. But at some point in the last few months, I took them back over. It’s not going too poorly. 

Tuesday morning when I was trying to get all my stuff (water, apple, crackers, telephone, Quinn) upstairs before Alex left the house, I remembered that the cleaning people were coming. (Cleaning: something else I am terrible at.)

I remembered the time that I left some dirty dishes in the sink on a cleaning people day and how they had put them in the dishwasher. The problem with this was twofold: (1) I felt bad because they shouldn’t have to do my dishes, and (2) that particular load of dishes was clean and then I had to rewash them.

Not wanting a repeat, I stuffed the dishes in the dishwasher, stacked haphazardly in a pile, still bearing crusts from toast and uneaten eggs. Then I forgot about them.

I noticed the dishes piling up over the last two days since I’ve been vertical, but I’ve had a series of appointments on those days and have otherwise gone to bed at first opportunity, leaving those stacks of dishes to get taller. The fact that I couldn’t find a single fork or spoon this morning should have tipped me off to a dishes emergency.

Today, when I finally got around to opening the dishwasher, I found that same stack of plates and toast right where I’d left them.

For the life of me, I can’t quite fathom what has been happening around here nutritionally—and frankly, I don’t give a damn.

Also, syrup that has congealed on a plate for four days? FASCINATING. You should try it.

Go to hell, Alex-like Ryan Gosling.


Some of you may recognize that photo from Sunday’s Special Needs Ryan Gosling meme and see how I’ve bastardized what she’s trying to do over there.

So, because I love Sunday and I love that so many people now know how funny she is, I give you my real entry into Special Needs Ryan Gosling.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should check out Sunday’s blog, Adventures in Extreme Parenthood. She’s hosting a Ryan Gosling thingy every Friday on her blog these days. Head over to collect a photo and make your own caption, then link up on her post.

That’s more like it, Ryan.

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