Algernon Does New York

Have I mentioned that I went to New York? Well, someone else went with me.

Algernon totally overpacked.

Also, it’s not embarrassing at all to take photos like this in the train station. Algernon insisted though.

Algernon did a lot of pacing up and down the aisles and making noise in the quiet car, but eventually I settled him down in his seat and he stared out the window and waited for New York.

You can’t tell, but that’s New York out in the gray.

I already told you about the hour-long wait for our cab, but what I didn’t tell you about was how Algernon cursed up a storm. He was all, “THIS IS BULLSHIT!” and “HURRY UP, LOSERS!” and I pretended I didn’t know him, which was difficult considering that he was sitting in my computer bag at the time.

We finally got in a cab, being the third party to jump in front of the people at the front of the line. I don’t understand how someone at the front of the line can keep getting skipped over for cabs and why cabbies are allowed to say, I will drive to here but not to there, but by the time we were second in line and allowed to get into a taxi, I just apologized to the people in front of me and threw tip money at the guy flagging the cabs.

Fortunately, Algernon didn’t antagonize the cab driver.

We were super excited to get to our hotel room and see our view of the city, which turned out to be a view of some random courtyard.

Algernon: “Let’s tear this place apart!”

Fortunately, we had plans, so Algernon didn’t have very much time to get outraged. Also fortunately, we got a margarita bigger than him.

Algernon thanks you for his booze, Alysia.

Algernon went with me to the American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge. There he looked up…

There’s a point on it. It must be the Empire State Building.

…and he looked down.

Algernon: “From up here, they look so small! They look like mice!”

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen a lot of photos of Algernon boozing it up over the weekend. That is because when he gets tipsy, he assumes everyone else thinks he as funny as he thinks he is and insists on showing everyone how hilarious he is. Or so he thinks.

He also ate a lot, even forgoing conference food for actual, real-life New York restaurants.

He chose carnitas tacos here. Yum.

In a completely happy coincidence that I didn’t notice until we sat down at breakfast the next day, Algernon and I chose the best table in the joint.

Even better if you get how mice and 42 fit together. I can’t help you if you don’t.

Sadly, there wasn’t even enough room for a mouse at the next meal, which was lunch while Martha Stewart was speaking. Fortunately, he doesn’t have much feeling one way or another for Ms. Stewart, so we were able to happily picnic in the hallway.

I felt lucky because Algernon is not always this flexible.

You may also notice that it was difficult for Algernon to find properly mouse-sized food. Until, that is, he happened upon the perfect grilled cheese sample in the expo hall.

Made for a mouse.

But when you eat a cupcake, it’s best to go large.

Especially if they’re from the Magnolia Bakery.

Sometimes it’s nice to get your very own Algernon-sized bag of personalized M&Ms from the best t-shirt lady in the business.

Mmmm, pink flavored.

The only problem is when someone *cough*Stimey*cough* traps you in a cake plate.

Mice always have to be on the lookout for shit like that.

Even if I was kinda mean to Algernon, he made more friends at the conference than I did. Remember the scary photo of all the Hot Pockets yesterday? They’re slightly less intimidating when there is only one of them.

Still creepy though.

Algernon is all about inter-species love. He found a buddy to give him a ride around the expo hall in the form of a slipper. Actually the cow only let him ride for a second, mostly because the cow was attached to a human foot at the time.

The human that the foot was attached to was very accommodating though.

Not everyone was so kind though. Abbie‘s kid’s crocodile was frankly kind of an asshole about the whole thing.

Never turn your back on a crocodile.

Fortunately, Algernon had a rave to go to in the form of the Sparklecorn party, so he was able to put the crocodile incident behind him.

He may or may not be attached to a beer bottle with a glow stick.

Algernon got a lot of action during the conference. A lot of the ladies were very into him, which makes me happy that I gave him that bath last week. One of his favorite ladies is Olivia from Fourth Breakfast, also known as my rodent guru.

 This is also one of my favorite photos (by Lady M) of all time.

I did know that the ladies would love Algernon. What I didn’t see coming was this:

Algernon is #nintendoenthused.

After the debauchery—and, yes, it was debauchery—Algernon chilled out in this vibrating tub by Kohler. Just FYI, if anyone is looking for a gift, this product would totally be acceptable.

Kristen also liked the bathtub.

Algernon had a really lovely time in the expo hall. You know why? Because brands seem to think that people dressed in funny costumes will get a lot of attention and end up in blog posts because they’re hilarious.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

Algernon met and took a photo with every single person dressed in a degrading costume.

The Lorax (with his own badge) was perhaps the least degrading.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It’s not.

When we first came upon this banana, he looked morose. Dude swore he was just paying attention to something else, but I prefer to think that he was sad that he’d drawn the short straw and had to be the banana.

The humanity.

The banana suit may have been degrading, but Kikkoman had them beat. I may have shrieked with joy when I saw this lady. She was a good sport.

I will buy that brand of soy sauce just to thank poor
bottle lady for dressing up for my amusement.

Just in case you didn’t get enough of the Jimmy Dean guy last time, I thought I’d share with you his and Algernon’s special moment.

I wonder if he resents having to go to trade shows in a giant spiky ball.

I took Algernon with me to celebrate being honored in the Voices of the Year event, but he was pissed that Not Even Wrong was being honored. He was outraged—OUTRAGED—that Algernon Does Disney wasn’t on the list.

In his defense, he did work hard for that post.

We did, of course, attend a lot of sessions together. You know how sometimes you’re looking for a parking spot in a crowded parking lot and you see an empty one and get all excited and zoom up to it only to find that a motorcycle had parked there?

That’s exactly what it was like with Algernon in the panels.

I like whale eye lady in the row in front.

Happily, Algernon and I are of the same mind when it comes to sitting in the front row. What better place to be obnoxious by taking photos instead of paying attention.

Jeez. Everyone must hate us.

After all the fun we had, it was so sad to have to say goodbye, but all BlogHers must end and even Algernon had to say goodbye to his best girlfriends.

Algernon: “Marty! Annette! Call me!”

By this time, we were old hands at cabs, having ridden in them twice already. We do have a question for those of you who live in New York though: How often do taxis actually run over pedestrians? No reason for the question. It just seems…possible.

Also, how many people barf in cabs? Not that I did, but…oy.

Penn Station was lovely. Thank God for Annette, or Algernon and I would never have found our way in. We would have probably ended up in line for some event or other at Madison Square Garden and that probably wouldn’t have ended well, what with our suitcases and all.

Plus, Algernon hates loud music. It has to do with his ears.

You know how you’re not supposed to look like a tourist in New York? Well, obviously, I had failed miserably by this point in my trip, but do you know what makes you look like even more of a tourist than taking a photo of your luggage in Penn Station? Taking a photo of the pigeon wandering by your chair in Penn Station.

Especially if you put a stuffed mouse down first.

Three short hours, that one time re-boarding the train, and a frantic dig through my luggage for my car keys later, Algernon and I were back in my car and headed home to see the munchkins. And Alex. I guess.

Mental note: ALWAYS write the location of your car on your parking ticket.

Algernon really enjoyed his time in the sun (so to speak, ha, ha). He’s having a little bit of a hard time readjusting to life inside my handbag. Fortunately for him, we’re going on a family vacation soon, so he’ll get to do some more traveling. Because you know Algernon; he’s a globetrotter.

Thanks for sharing his latest adventure! Now it’s off to the baths again for him!

28 thoughts on “Algernon Does New York

  1. I love Algernon so much.  He totally rocks.  I hope he globetrots a looooong way south soon!  Don’t forget your towel.

  2. This is my favorite BlogHer recap of them all. I love seeing Algernon’s adventures. I used to have a real mouse named Algernon. Between that and the 42 references, you guys are even more awesome.

  3. Best recap ever.  And you’re welcome, Algernon, for the margarita.  Happy to buy the drinks, even if it did mean taking out a small loan to cover the hotel prices :)

  4. I was smiling all the way through this, until I got to “taking a photo of the pigeon wandering by your chair in Penn Station. Especially if you put a stuffed mouse down first.”  At that point, the coffee came out of my nose. 

    Also, I am a bad bad person. I stole my daughter’s stuffed cat and took pictures all the way to DC and back, and never posted them – except for the one of Algernon and Snowflake that I put on twitter. I did email them to her. Does that count?

  5. I would like to know exactly what you said to the person attached to the foot in the cow slipper.  ”Excuse me.  Can I please take a picture of my stuffed mouse on your foot so it looks like he is riding your cow slipper?”  

  6. OMG, you wrote this for me didn’t you?! ;) This might just be the best your post ever.  The pigeon photo – I die. Btw, that is a terrible photo of me but I love that frigging mouse so much I don’t even care. xoxo

  7. I might have to start going to blogger conventions just to get my picture taken with people dressed up as giant foods.  Also I would be just like you- the lady screaming THAT HOT POCKET HAS ARMS!!!!  AGGGG!

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