Sunday, October 28, 2012


Well, friends. Remember how I was running from the undead at the Run For Your Lives race yesterday?

They caught me.

This is me, all cocky and happy and…clean, before I left my house:

That t-shirt became more relevant to me not too much later.
This is me, all humbled and cold and filthy after the race—and this was AFTER I hit the shower area:

Stimey were people too.
Oh, and then there was this:

Zombie clown, anyone?

So, here’s how the race works: You get a belt that has three flags velcroed to it. Your goal is to get through the race with at least one flag still attached. If you are able to do that, you survive. If the zombies get your flags, you, well, you become like me—undead.

The race is a 5k, but it’s not really about speed, as far as I can tell. There were sections where the path through the woods was packed enough with people that you pretty much had to walk. Then there were sections where I was the only one around. (Also there was that uphill dead end that I followed some people up—and back down.) There were a bunch of obstacles, none of which were too difficult, most of which were incredibly muddy, and one of which was a freezing cold river we had to swim across.

There were zombie zones scattered throughout the race course where there were zombies (obviously) who tried to grab your flags. Once your flags were gone, the zombies would maybe nibble on you, but they were far less interested. To my shame, I discovered this early on. Some of them near the end of the race would give you high fives.

I was there by myself, which was okay. In the zombie apocalypse, friends are dead weight. I’m pretty sure that surly loners do way better. Isn’t that how it always goes in zombie movies? Also, none of my friends were willing to run a zombie-infested obstacle race.

I had signed up for the noon heat (there were start times every 30 minutes) and finished checking in about 20 minutes before the start time, so I headed over to the start line and chose to be an entree.

Although maybe I should have chosen dessert because I’m so sweet.

The start line consisted of long tunnels with gates over the front of them. It was pretty creepy in there. The dude in front of me in line freaked out because a spider almost touched him. I felt a little bit like I’d found my people.

Nothing claustrophobic and horrible in here!
You should know that all of the photos here I took later in the day. I wasn’t dumb enough to ruin my electronics by taking them with me. On the course, it was just me, my three flags, and a spider that may or may not have ended up on my shoulder.

The race started, we ran through a fog, and ZOMBIES! This is the bottom of Zombie Zone 1:

Runners are bunched together here and harder to pick off. Evidently it is easier to hide in a group.
I made it through the first two zombie zones with all three of my flags and I was feeling pretty awesome. I might have gotten a little cocky. Then that zombie nun in zone 3 laid eyes on me and I was her bitch. Flags 2 and 3 were taken pretty quickly after that. See, there was a hill that slowed me down and made me easy pickin’s.

I also almost lost the free drink ticket attached to my bib whilst hurling myself over a chest-high wall, which would have been REALLY devastating.

I spent a good amount of time watching a couple of race sections after my heat and fitness didn’t seem to be the deciding factor in whether you survived or not. I saw a lot of really badass looking runners get stripped of their flags by cunning zombies. I think there was a strong element of luck and maybe an advantage of running with a group. So much for my loner theory.

From there on out, I decided that since I was without flags, I would just try to run the rest of the race, have fun, and kick ass on the obstacles. There was a muddy area and some people wiped out, landing in the mud, much to their chagrin. Looking back on it, it’s kind of cute that they were upset about such a small amount of muddy water considering what was to come.

What was to come was that river, referenced above.

There was no observation area for the river, or I would have taken photos for you, but basically, there was a river that was probably 50 feet across. There was a rope strung across it to hold onto, but the only way across was to jump in and swim. I could almost touch the bottom if I put my feet down, but I just ended up pulling myself across and paddling with my feet.

Ever run a 5k soaking wet? Through mud?


The obstacles were mostly pretty simple. There were some tunnels to climb through, barbed wire to belly crawl under, more walls to go over, mud hills to go up and over only to end up in mud baths at the bottom, and a fogged up building with dangling electric wires you had to avoid. There were also natural obstacles, such as the incredibly steep decline—followed by a similarly steep incline—that we had to maneuver.

By the time we got to the top of that hill, we all looked like staggering zombies ourselves. It was brutal.

I’d like a little extra credit considering that I ran most of this race with dried mud on my hands, which is one of my biggest sensory stressors. I mean, fortunately I was also soaking wet so I had something to wipe them on.

The good people at Run For Your Lives had saved some of the best for last though. Just in case you had dried off, there was one last big slide into a big pit full of muddy water.


I stood at the top of this thing cursing for a while before I went down it. I ended up completely submerged in the murky water.

Then, just in case the water had cleaned all the mud off of you, the very last obstacle was a muddy belly crawl under an electric fence. I learned two things at that obstacle: (1) My elbows are surprisingly strong body-pulling hooks, and (2) I don’t like electric shocks.

The tall fence at the right is the top of the obstacle. See the people going under?
After the race, I headed over to the showers, which is a nice way of saying, “pipe with holes drilled into it spraying ice-cold water onto a tennis court.”

The “showers” are that horizontal white pipe on the right. They had the added benefit of making the race course muddy where it ran past the tennis court.

I have never been so happy to stand in a tent and change into dry clothes in front of strangers in my life. Thank God it was a pretty warm day. I can only imagine what it would have been like if it hadn’t been 65 degrees.

I had such a blast. I spent the next two hours taking photos and watching zombies chase runners. It was so much fun. I’m definitely going back next year. Let me know if you want to be part of my mob, so we can try to overpower the zombies en masse.

Also, because I know you find zombies as amusing as I do, I have some photos from the event to show you. Enjoy!

Warning! Zombie photos ahead!
I liked the zombies who had a sense of humor.
Also those who committed to the part. This guy was actually my favorite zombie.
Algernon enjoyed watching the zombies too.
Even zombies have to take a break.
I was there for the zombie shift change. I felt bad for the runners who got the fresh zombies. Everyone knows fresh zombies are the fastest.
Have fun eating the runners, zombies!
Lots of people donated their shoes after the race. What a great idea, huh? I wish I’d known they do this; I have some old shoes I would have loved to get rid of. And then I wouldn’t have had to lug gross, muddy shoes around all afternoon.
Algernon didn’t race, but I’m pretty sure he would have survived if he had.
Until next year…

I’m so glad I ran this race. I am endlessly entertained by zombies and I love running, so mixing the two of them together was so much fun for me. I think it is highly likely that I’ll become an obstacle race junkie, but I’m so glad Run For Your Lives was my first.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find some BRAAAAIIIINNNNSSS…

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