Crazy Hair

Today was Crazy Hair Day at Quinn’s school, which was perfect because, well, Crazy Hair Day was made for Quinn.

Some kids put colors or glitter in their hair. Some shaped their hair into mohawks or wore funny wigs. The principal put her hair in several small ponytails all over her head (which was awesome, but distracting at the meeting I sat in with her today).

But Quinn? Well Quinn just made his hair a little bit EXTRA QUINN and he was good to go.

Quinn Einstein

He looked a little bit Einstein-y, which I approved of.

I will admit to teasing his hair a little bit, but I knew that it would settle into normal crazy. Quinn says that at some point during the day, he made his hair “good” again because he was tired of it being crazy. Honestly, I couldn’t tell the difference.

I brush that kid’s hair, like, twenty times a day. He is on a strict shampoo/conditioning regimen, but even so, there is something about his hair that rebels. It is fluffy at the same time as it is matted. It is…problematic. The back of his hair looks like this next photo no matter how many times a day I brush it.

the back of Quinn's head

I have this photo because Quinn wanted me to take it so he could see the red in the back of his hair. He is very vain, that Quinn.

That red hair is a big part of the reason why his hair is so out of control. If you say the words “haircut” in front of Quinn, he will immediately start screeching and clutch his hair and start yelling about wanting to keep the red.

(Red, Sherry. Red.) <—Sorry. Everyone but old college chum Sherry should ignore that.

See, Quinn has been getting crazy attention for his hair since he was a baby. Like, literally, he was four seconds old the first time someone commented on his hair. Consequently, he seems to think his hair is the source of all his power and refuses to have it cut.

At first I was on board with this, because I like long hair on boys (we all know that long-haired dudes are the coolest, right?), but then it got all Crazy Hair Day Is Every Day on us and I just want to take Sir Screams A Lot to get his hair cut, but now he won’t go.

I mean, really. He got home from school, I brushed his hair neatly to the side, he touched it once, and this is what happened:

Quinn's "neat" hair.

It’s shiny at least.

I don’t know if I have anything to add to this long treatise on Quinn’s hair other than HELP!, but I feel like I had to mention it, because it consumes about 38% of my mental energy at all times.

I do have one more thing to say on the subject of hair. I’ve been trying to not mention this, because it makes me seem rilly rilly shallow, but you know what I was really thankful for this Thanksgiving?

My hair. My hair used to be stick straight and then I had kids and it got curly, but weird curly and I’ve wanted to get it straightened for years, but it’s super expensive and I didn’t know if it would work and then a friend of mine found a place in my area that does Japanese hair straightening for less than it generally costs and I went and had it done and I have never been happier in my life.

My hair is like this whole other entity now that makes me so happy. People tell me my hair looks pretty and instead of being all modest and “Oh! Thanks!” I’m like, “I KNOW!! IT’S SUCH GOOD HAIR, ISN’T IT?!”

Life changing, people. Life changing.

This next photo is how my hair looks when I let it air dry. I don’t have to use a hairdryer or a flatiron or anything. I AM HAPPY ALL THE TIME NOW.

Thumbs up, Stimey!

That’s my thumb in the left corner being all, “This hair is GREAT, y’all!”

Phew. I feel better. I felt like I was keeping this big secret from you all because I hadn’t mentioned the GREAT NEW THING that had happened to me because it made me look like a narcissist, but it has entirely changed the way I feel about my head. Now I’ve told you about it and it’s done so I don’t have to mention it again. Thank you.

*****

In less shallow, but equally self-obsessed news, I wrote “Do I Have Asperger’s?—Adult Autism Diagnosis” about my Asperger’s diagnosis over at PokitDok. I write about this regularly because I get emails and messages all the time from people looking for diagnoses and when I was looking for how-to information a few months ago, it was really hard to find. Know that if you’ve been thinking you have Asperger’s and want a formal diagnosis, you aren’t alone. And feel free to email me. :)

31 thoughts on “Crazy Hair

  1. So what does this Japanese straightening entail? I’m very curious because I also had wonderfully straight hair pre-kids and now it has an awful wave to it. Like all the hair- on both sides- wants to flip to the same side. And then parts get down right curly! I’m a mess! Help!

    • It entails (1) really smelly goo all over your head, (2) a nap under a hair dryer, (3) rinsing, (4) flatironing, (5) more goo, (6) sitting, (7) rinsing, (8) blow drying, (9) paying a chunk of money, (10) everlasting happiness.

      At least that’s how it happened at the place I went.

    • It totally is the worst part—EXCEPT for small talk with the hairdresser. I hate that part too. You should totally come to my guy, because he was perfectly happy to let me sit in silence for three and a half hours.

  2. I’ve got a 16yo girl with exactly the same hair issues as Quinn. I guess I am happy about her not being shallow and self-obsessed like more than a few teenage girls, but good god…I can’t stand that her hair makes her look like a homeless person pretty much constantly. It looks beautiful for about 5 minutes after a painful brushing event.

    Some people might blame genes… my hair is a disaster that I’m not forced to look at, so I can be in denial about it. Personally, I blame the internet for my daughter’s hair situation. She’s always writing fan fiction. I’m not sure how the two issues are linked, but since they both make me feel like a failure as a parent, I’m sure they’re connected somehow.

  3. I did Keratin at the beginning of the summer (from a woman who works out of her home so 1/2 the price of a salon, but still $$$), and it changed my world. In the muggy and powerless post-Derecho world, my hair rocked. It even behaved in Florida in August. At one point my husband asked why I was in such a good mood all the time, why I seemed more confident in my appearance than usual, and it was all the hair. It’s worn off but I swear there’s still a little magic left in there because my hair is still much more agreeable than it has ever been.

    • Isn’t it crazy how much better it makes you feel? I had no idea how much my self-esteem was tied into my hair. I mean, I guess it would be a problem if I didn’t have such GOOD HAIR, but now that the hair is good, the self esteem is good. Hooray!

      And if your Keratin stood up to the Derecho, it must be AWESOME!

  4. This post made me smile. We recently got our son’s school photo back and I especially love it due to his hair being crazy in the picture. His hair is a mix of straight, curly and wavy, and of course he won’t allow anyone to come near him to cut it. I’ve considered cutting it while he’s sleeping, but have decided that is a terrible idea. So now we embrace the crazy hair, and I’m looking forward to his school’s crazy hair day!
    P.S. Your hair looks awesome!

    • I hadn’t considered cutting while asleep. That seems like a recipe for…uneveness. :) I briefly considered cutting his hair myself, because he would let me do it, but I decided that it would make everything even worse, if that is possible. Here’s to embracing the crazy hair!

  5. My daughter has the same hair thing going on except hers is very curly on top of it. On the rare occasion she lets me anywhere near her hair with a brush, it is back to being a mess seconds later. Everyone always compliments her hair for being super duper curly, but I cringe inwardly because it is SO MESSY.

  6. This is great! I had no idea someone with all boys would have some many issues with hair! I love the last picture of Quinn-he kind of looks like Donald Trump ;)

    • Yes. Quinn ROCKS the Trump look. OMG, maybe THIS is how he ended up with that hair! I have to go do a Quinn intervention right now!

  7. Hi, So first of all, your straight hair does look nice! [It also looked nice before, though it sounds like more work then.] However, I would not be up for the process – 3.5 hours?!

    My hair was also stick-straight, and really baby-fine, until I don’t know – mid 30’s? Then it got all wavy, and surprisingly NOW I can let it air dry [or not] and it looks good to me. Of course, I’ve had my hair professionally colored since about age 22, just for fun. Amazingly, I’m the only one in my family with no grey hair! This is kind of a joke in my family. They have no idea what I spend on color, and I don’t want to know. Now I just checked my LinkedIn pic, and realize it looks rather odd what with the braces and all. So next time I have my hair done, I’ll update the photo.

    Also, my hair stylists are super nice, so I enjoy chatting with them. Lucky that way!

  8. I think it would be awesome if Helen and Quinn mated someday – just so I could what hair the two of them would produce. I give you props for at least brushing Quinn’s regularly. I’m a one and done person with Helen’s mop. Unless I force her into pigtails (which she whines about because – ouch! my hat hurts!), her hair is a disaster.

  9. you know, if you’d just called his hair blond from the start, your life might be a little easier now. just saying.

    I can relate to Q-ball. I remember being about his age and telling my mom that I would be the one to brush my hair from then on. At some piont she realized that I was combing a very thin layer on top and beneath was a massive rats’ nest. I figured that did not need to be brushed, who could see it? and really, not much has changed.

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