Sam As Sibling

There is one thing I forgot to tell you about my presentation at Sam’s school last week.

See, Sam is such a wonderful kid and I don’t know that he always believes that, so I took this opportunity to say some nice things about him in front of his class. The book the class had read, Rules, is specifically about a sibling of a kid with autism, so lobbing some nice words Sam’s way was well within the subject matter at hand.

It looked like I was talking to the class at large, but, in fact, I was talking to Sam.

I told them that Sam sometimes ends up with extra responsibility. That he sometimes has to take care of Quinn if I’m chasing Jack down. (For example, the other night at Quinn’s school’s reading night where I looked up and found Jack gone. When I found him two hallways away (kid is fast), he said he was going to the car. I’m guessing that the room was too much for him.)

I told them that Sam sometimes has to help with Jack as well—and that Jack looks up to Sam.

I told them that Sam has patiently spent a ton of time in waiting rooms and used to do his homework there more often than at home.

I said that it can be hard to have a sibling with autism because sometimes they do embarrassing things, and he nodded.

I told the class that Sam has been a wonderful leader and teacher to his brothers and that he has always gone out of his way to include his brothers and that he is wonderful for that. I talked about how Sam does a really lovely job explaining Jack to his friends.

I’m hoping that while I was telling his classmates these things, that Sam heard me telling him that I see him. That I really, really SEE how good he is.

Because, oh lord, he is so good.


I also wrote about Sam at White Knuckle Parenting today, where I wonder if gifted programs are too much pressure or just right. (In case you’re wondering, I don’t have the answer.)

10 thoughts on “Sam As Sibling

  1. Oh my…you just made me cry.
    I see this too.
    Way to go, Sam. I look up to you too. Hope some day you can meet my guy who takes it all on. He is so good too.

  2. This, and your post about talking to Sam’s class, are just wonderful, Jean. Great kids and a great mom (and dad).

  3. It’s great to think we always remember to notice the good things and not just complain about the bad. But having the opportunity to let Sam know what a great kid/brother he is – in front of his peers is priceless.

  4. Your love for all three of your sons is so evident in your writing, that I’m guessing they all know! Still, it’s good for them to hear it. :)

  5. Sam is quite a kid…and big brother..and son. I hope he heard how wonderful he is in your eyes…

    You know, my oldest, despite his challenges, is so similar to Sam. From taking care of his brothers, to being his brothers’ idol, to being a great kid, and I hope that he, too, knows how amazing he is.

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