Faster than a Turtle; Slower than Everyone Else

On Sunday, regardless of my cold and the 25-degree weather when I left my house, I headed out to my 5k race first thing in the morning.

I look more cheerful that I was. I had already jogged twice around the high school track just to keep warm before the race.

Pre-race. I look more cheerful that I was. I had already jogged twice around the high school track just to keep warm.

I’ve done a lot of running since my last road race in September—which was the 8K in which I placed 621st out of 627—so I was looking forward to vastly improving my pace.

My goal this time was to do the 5K in 40 minutes, which isn’t fast, by any means, but is respectable. At least for me. (My standards of respectability are a little different in a lot of areas, including running paces.)

Even though I was sick, this race was fun. You guys, I passed people. I mean, sure, they were children. And walkers. And one or two people running in the opposite direction. But I passed them! I even passed some runners. It was AWESOME.

And I didn’t even feel bad when they passed me right back a little bit later.

They course was kind of hilly, but none of the slopes were too long. Regardless, by mile two I was running holding tissues, sneezing, and feeling sad for myself. All that went away at mile 2.5, however, when I ran down a longish, steepish downhill. Some people were walking down it or running slowly and I blew past them.

I was all, “Gravity, bitches! Get some!” This is where being chubby comes in handy.

Remember my 40 minute goal? Well. I finished in 40 minutes. AND TWO SECONDS. I’m so mad.

But I’m more proud of me. A year ago I couldn’t have run a 5K in an hour. I couldn’t have run more than a couple of minutes. Progress, people. Progress. I am awesome.

25 thoughts on “Faster than a Turtle; Slower than Everyone Else

  1. You are one bad-ass mama jama. Seriously, I have tears in my eyes because I am so proud of you. Also because if I tried to run a 5k I would die and then I would never be able to eat cake again and that makes me sad. But mostly I’m just proud of you.

  2. Way to go! Progress is beautiful…and it is rewarding when you know how you made what seemed impossible totally doable.

  3. Oooh, I’m gonna go find some hills to run down just so I can yell “Gravity, bitches!” See, you’re an inspiration!

  4. You ARE awesome!

    And what’s 2 seconds among friends. We still think that’s a respectable time, too.

  5. You are so full of awesome, you couldn’t possibly know. Love it! You also reminded me of when I was pregnant with Connor. I biked into work daily with Ed. On the downhill parts of the trip – before I was pregnant – I could never keep up with him, and he rode his breaks most of the way. But when I was pregnant? I added about 30 pounds – all in my stomach, and I crushed him on the downhill. Like blew him away I was so damn fast. So yeah, GRAVITY, bitches! I love it so much. Ed and I still laugh about it.

  6. Awesome race! Congratulations! Gravity is great, but only when it comes to racing. Other things gravity does, not so great.

  7. Is that the official time? If so, you were probably not at the front of the start line, right? I know I usually start races towards the back of the pack (closer to my pace group). SO…you probably crossed the start line 2 seconds after the gun went off! Voila, 40 minutes goal acheived! Regardless, awesome job! Keep up the good work!

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