Hi, Team!

How have you all been?

Good, good, glad to hear it.


There is nothing happening in my life. Nothing. I was going to write a whole post about my neighborhood’s two-day group quest to rescue a runaway dog from down the street and how I ended up with a neighbor standing on my front porch this morning with a handful of chicken who was asking why, why, WHY would this dumbass dog not come to him, but it ran into my backyard instead so he closed the gate to trap the dog and he’ll be there until his owners come pick him up and I never actually saw the dog, so I assume someone came and got him or else my yard somehow swallowed him, but then I realized that you don’t care about my neighborhood or the dog, so I decided to not write about it.

*taps foot and looks around*

Then, as I do every week, I cleaned my gerbil tanks and now that I have these kittens, that tank cleaning time is fucking perilous. I’ve had cats jump into the gerbil tanks while I’ve been cleaning them (the gerbils are safely relocated to a smaller holding cage during that time), so I have to remain vigilant to make sure that the kittens don’t sharpen their predatory skills on my wonderful little gerball friends. I was going to write about that, complete with photos and then I realized that this might also not be, how you say, scintillating subject matter to you, so I decided to not write about it.

Starfire sitting atop a gerbil tank

Prey, meet predator.

Let’s see.

Then, I read this article (well, most of it—okay, part of it) about how if you put periods at the end of your text message sentences, people will think you are mad at them and not, in fact, that you are just specific about your punctuation and I got all worried about how people perceive my text messages and then got a little clarity about why Alex always seems to misinterpret my texts and get defensive, causing me to have to leave a smiley-face emoticon at the end of EVERY text (right after the period) and then I decided that people are confusing and I am not sure I am ready to interact with life, you know, at all. Thanks, Maggie, for posting that article in your news feed, by the way. Now I feel inadequate on a whole other platform. I was going to share it with all of you but then realized that some of you might also feel inadequate to function in society after reading it, so I decided to not write about it.

*closes eyes to see if there are ideas on the inside of my eyelids*

Ooooh! Ooooh! So, Oreo, my mustache cat, entertains one of my friends more than I can even tell you and she thinks that Oreo needs her own meme, agent, and movie deal, a la Grumpy Cat, but that maybe Oreo needs some props first, so one day she dropped by with her daughter and they had found a top hat for Oreo so that she can be fancy every day.

Oreo wearing a top hat

Oreo was not as happy about this hat as one would have hoped.

I was going to write about that, but the photo kind of says it all, so I don’t have to.

Well. It turns out that I have written a lot of words about not writing, so mission a-fucking-ccomplished. I do have one last thing to show you, which just might be the perfect capper to this non-post masquerading as a post.

I was cleaning a closet the other day and found this photo from maybe three years ago when my family went to some event or other and there was a photographer there to take photos of people. It turns out that my family did photos three years ago in exactly the same way we do them now.

Photo of Team Stimey looking goofy

At the time, I remember thinking this photo was absurd and not good for a whole lot. Now, I love it more than anything and kind of want to frame it.

From the Wiggles bandage on Jack’s face to the paint all over Quinn to the “I’d rather be over there,” look on Sam’s face, this photo is classic Team Stimey all the way.

Well. I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s interlude in pointlessness. Be sure to check back soon for more stories about animals you don’t know and photos from many years ago!

28 thoughts on “Hi, Team!

  1. Well you know if you put a tiny hat on something, I’m gonna come running! Gorgeous photo. I don’t have a single picture like that, and I really regret it.

    • Ha, yes. All of my pets (other than three boy gerbils) since I’ve had pets are girls. It is mostly because I am not interested in dealing with pet penises.

  2. That article ( or the four paragraphs of it that I read) now makes me too anxious to text again.
    I wonder how the Oxford comma is interpreted thru texting?

    You’ve given me a lot to think about Stimey
    A whole lot

  3. I love this post
    Even though it’s not really about anything
    It’s also made me afraid to used punctuation in my comment
    So I’m using line breaks instead
    Thank you for sharing the pictures
    They made me giggle

    The End. :)

    • I am delighted by your line breaks and will never ever judge you for using a period. :)

      (smiley face to cement happy status of comment)

  4. I try using shorthand text-speak like my friends do, but I always feel compelled to go back and complete every word and add punctuation. Especially apostrophes. And full stops. Oh dear, so many full stops…

    I asked my family for blogging ideas the other day when nothing interesting had happened to any of us for weeks. Our youngest replied “Why don’t you write about cheese?”

    PLEASE write more about cleaning out the gerbils with a cat in the tank. I’d love to see more photos of gerbil v cat stand offs.

  5. I LOVE that family photo (and I will continue to preserve punctuation and the English language. I refuse not to use periods and I refuse to use things like lol. I always write, “hee hee hee” instead). I will not read that article. It will make me too anxious! How do you like my use of punctuation? Hope you and your family have a happy turkey day, my friend.

  6. The first photo is adorable. Is that the tiny kitten? She looks both menacing and cute at the same time.

    I had no idea that individual punctuation marks were so fraught with meaning!

    Happy Thanksgiving!
    Or, if you prefer, Happy Thanksgiving
    ^ That seems so incomplete, somehow. :)

  7. LOVE the photo…frankly, I kinda wish I’d get more xmas photocards that look like that – what families REALLY look like, ya know?

    • One Christmas card I sent out has one of my kids in a filthy white t-shirt and another with a black eye. It was a great damn photo though. But definitely real family. :)

  8. Pingback: I’m Forcing a Meme Here, People | Stimeyland

  9. I’d read your stuff if you wrote about the damned phone book. And that crap about periods in text? I’ m with Lindsay on that one. But Oreo? OMG, the cuteness is killing me. With the mustache AND goatee, I keep hearing the Dos Equis guy’s voice. It’s freaking me out a bit.

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