ISO LEGO Hero Factory Elemental Guardian*

* which may or may not exist

So, yesterday I told you all about Quinn’s Christmas list and how he wants all of the things. Jack’s Christmas list is substantially more modest, but equally problematic. He has plans to ask Santa for a very specific toy, a toy that one of his classmates brought to school last week and called a “Hero Factory Elemental Guardian.” Jack was so enamored of it that he drew a picture of it.

Multi-colored crayon drawing of angry looking, four-armed robot type guy.

It was fortunate he did, because it is the only clue I have as to what the hell a Hero Factory Elemental Guardian is.

See, I googled this, assuming that it would be easy to find, only to discover that not only is this toy as described NOT available and does not seem to exist, it seems to have never existed.

As anyone does when stymied (see what I did there?), I posted a picture on Facebook and begged for help. Friends came back with idea after idea of what this toy could actually be and, under the guise of curiosity, I asked Jack about each one, showing him photos.

Is it a Gormiti Elemental Fusion Mini Guardian Creature? No.

Is is a different Hero Factory figure? No. (And we looked at a bajillion of them.)

Is it an Elemental Hero Clay Guardian? No.

Is it a Yu-Gi-Oh Elemental Hero Flame? No.


It turns out that crowdsourcing a nonexistent toy is futile. I ended up sending an email to the mother of the kid who brought the toy to school. My rambling, lunatic email was made better by the fact that I have never in my life spoken to or corresponded with this woman in my life. Also, I sent the photo you see above and ended with the sentence, “If you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, that’s okay too.”

I am not very good at interacting with The People.

That was two days ago. So far there is no word.

I fully expect that if this woman decides to open the email from a stranger (me) with the subject heading “Question about one of [kid’s name] toys,” that I will either hear back that she has no idea what I am talking about or will receive a photo of some creature created from 16 separate Hero Factory kits.

Either way I’m screwed. I think it might be time to start talking up other toys—or massage chairs and cash.

11 thoughts on “ISO LEGO Hero Factory Elemental Guardian*

  1. Well I just spent too much time googling the non-existent toy. I now know 1000% more about Hero Factory and Bionicle (and YuGiOh) than I did before today.
    XT4 has four arms, as does Creeproid. Meltdown has a whip. Aaand yeah I got nothing.
    Good luck!

  2. The Elemental Guardian should open up a can of whupass on this boy’s mother for not replying to your email and leaving you to stew in your Santa-induced anxiety. How terribly rude.

    • In her defense, her email address is at a school and schools have been closed here for a couple of days. So I’ll hold the Elemental Guardian off for at least a few more hours. :)

  3. I have no idea what that toy is, either. But know that you are not alone with the weird email to another parent. 3 years ago one of the girls in Q’s class brought in a furry purple locking diary that Q HAD to have. So I did exactly what you did. I sent a kind of rambly email to the girl’s mom asking where that got the diary. At least that mom replied in a timely manner.

    Good luck with your Quest.

  4. Pingback: Yeah, That Toy Doesn’t Exist | Stimeyland

  5. I’m no help to you since I have no idea what the toy is. But I do have a story for you (I hate to be one of those “but I have a story to one up yours” kind of people, so I’ve been sitting on this for a while and I feel I have to share because I keep thinking about it at night as I’m drifting off to sleep…don’t forget to tell Jean the story…zzzz).

    When my husband was a toddler and just barely able to talk (awwww) he asked Santa for a “frog in a teapot” for Christmas. Santa relayed this to my dear MIL who had four other children to buy for, and she panicked. She had no idea what this could mean. She went to toy store after toy store, talking to employees (this was long before the Internetz of course), and no one had any idea what “frog in a teapot” could be. One suggested that she buy a play tea set and put a frog in it.

    He got a wagon for Christmas. (He loved it.)

    Cut to a couple days after Christmas. My MIL is making lunch and she hears “frog in a teapot! frog in a teapot!” and she runs into the living to see her baby boy (awwww) watching Sesame Street and pointing at Oscar the Grouch. The way she tells the story, she started laughing. The way my FIL tells the story, she started crying.

    This story is told every Christmas to the amusement of all of us.

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