Guess where I went on Saturday? No, really. Guess.
Whatever you are guessing, it isn’t awesome enough.
Saturday I dragged my kids out to attend a pet expo that hosted the American Gerbil Society 6th Annual Mid-Atlantic Gerbil Show. For those of you who express surprise that there is an American Gerbil Society, well of course there is.
For those of you who express surprise that I attended said society’s Mid-Atlantic Gerbil show, well of course I did.
I shared a photo similar to the one above on my Facebook page and someone was all, “Who are the people in the white coats?” The answer is that they are GERBIL SCIENTISTS. Obviously.
Or maybe just gerbil judges—either way they seemed very important.
We talked to one of the judges for a while. She was reviewing the juvenile gerbils and shared some of the criteria they had to meet. She also looked a little confused when my kids started pointing at one of the gerbils and shouting, “Hi, Jetpack! Hi, Jetpack!”
Yes, there was a gerbil there that looked just like a young Jetpack—of Stimeyland internet fame.
It turns out that Jetpack is a Siamese gerbil, which is a rare thing.
You guys, I have a rare gerbil.
I. AM GOING TO BE RICH.
Or, I am at least going to be entering my rare gerbil in the American Gerbil Society’s 7th Annual Mid-Atlantic Gerbil Show. (If, that is, Jetpack meets or exceeds the average lifespan of a gerbil; that year until the next show is a long time in the life of a gerbil.)
My kids were less interested in the details of gerbil judging (temperament, tooth color, fur coloration, underbelly staining) and more interested in the gerbil balls set up on tracks nearby. See, we used to have these for our mice and then I felt bad for them (the mice) and threw them (the balls) away, leaving my kids to ask me if we can put our rodents in balls and put them on the ground in cat territory more than I care to admit.
Shortly thereafter, my kids demanded to see the nearby bird display and we had to depart. We did swing by later (repeat after me: of course we did) and saw the results of the judging.
I know you’re wondering what the first place gerbils look like. (Yes. You ARE.)
I did wander by the AGS table to pick up various literature and to peruse the merchandise they had for sale. I was NOT disappointed.
It seemed kinda jerkface-y to have all this fun at a gerbil show without inviting a single one of my seven gerbils to come with me and be rubbed all over by a lady in a lab coat, so I made sure to bring home something for them too.
Frankly, the only thing that could have made this gerbil show better (other than a blue ribbon for Jetpack) would have been if EVEN ONE of the gerbils had been wearing a little hat. The lack of tiny hats was a little disappointing. But maybe that trend hasn’t hit the mainstream just yet. We in Stimeyland are on the cutting edge of gerbil fashion. We can’t expect The Society to have caught up quite yet.
* Thanks to Lisa from Facebook for giving me the title to this post.