Something TERRIBLE Has Happened

Alex let me sleep in on Sunday morning. He had plans to take Jack and Quinn to get hair trims. Their hair was getting a little shaggy, so we thought it would be a good idea to neaten things up by having the barber cut a couple inches off the ends for each of them.

Jack was down with the plan. Quinn, who hates haircuts and also hates the aftermath of haircuts when everyone notices and talks about his haircut, had grudgingly agreed.

That was the plan when I went to bed Saturday night.

I woke up on Sunday morning to Alex shaking me and frantically waving his hands around and asking me if I’d gotten the texts he’d sent. “Something went seriously wrong,” he was saying. “It’s not okay. Things went badly.”

I swear to God, I thought someone had died.

Alex was finally able to communicate that the disaster was haircut related and I picked up my phone and read my texts.

Screen capture of a text exchange between Alex and I: Me: "Did you get brownie mix? If not, I'll stop at the grocery store. (Read Yesterday); Alex: No (Today 9:47am) Alex: Quinn's haircut has gone a little sideways. It is important for you to not mention it when we get home. Alex: Spiro cut off too much hair. Even I'm annoyed.

I know. And he didn’t get the fucking brownie mix either.


You guys. Jack and Quinn both have short, boy haircuts now.

Clearly, I am devastated.

They both still look cute, but…omg their beautiful hair. Jack likes his haircut because it is easier to comb, but I miss his gorgeous long, thick hair. Still, I suppose it is HIS hair and he gets control over it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pout about it.

Quinn, on the other hand…well, Quinn was a serious problem. He didn’t even let me see his hair until five or six that night. He wore his coat over his head for a couple of hours and then switched to a hat once I found one for him. I had a feeling that his first day back at school would be less than ideal.

I wrote an email to his teachers, excerpted here:

Something terrible has happened. I let my husband take Quinn for a haircut this weekend, where he was supposed to get a neat little trim that no one at school would notice.


Things went poorly. Evidently the husband read a magazine like it was his first day parenting Quinn and the barber went unsupervised and things spiraled out of control and now Quinn has short hair.

So. The reason I tell you is not just because my baby’s beautiful golden hair is gone. But because he is going to be very sensitive about it on Tuesday.

It turns out that Quinn did very well today. His wonderful teachers let him wear a hat all day and Quinn says his hair is growing back already, so it looks like things are going to work out okay. Also, we shouldn’t be too hard on Alex. He did tell and show the barber what Quinn wanted done. We can’t blame a rogue barber’s actions on Alex.

(Sam: “I’m so glad I didn’t go.”)

Poor kiddo though. Our two outcomes are (1) I am now in charge of boy haircuts and (2) Quinn never goes back to Spiro the barber again.

And now we begin the long process of sitting back and watching hair grow. I just thought I should let you know so you wouldn’t be surprised in case Quinn ever lets me take and post another photo of him. Chances of that are about 50/50.

9 thoughts on “Something TERRIBLE Has Happened

  1. Oh no! Bad haircuts are the worst. :(

    Tell Quinn that one time I lost a bet with a student and I had to get a haircut. It ended up being a faux-hawk. (Not quite a mohawk, but damn close.) The principal and 3 other staff members came into my classroom and cut my hair in front of the class. Then tell Quinn that they used DOG CLIPPERS on my hair!!! Being a cat person I am sure that he will find that wrong (and hilarious) in so many ways. My bad haircut made the school yearbook that year. Hope that story makes him laugh and forget about his bad haircut for a while.

  2. Oh no!!! Why does this always seem to happen to the kids who HATE haircuts?! Same thing happened to Tate last summer. All of his gorgeous brown waves were on the floor. I cried. He cried. He still is suspicious when we drive past a Great’s to fast growing hair!!

  3. Well done to Quinn for going to school. My DS would have refused. His barber describes the required cut as “a haircut that looks like he hasn’t had a haircut”.

    • I like your barber’s words. That’s perfect. And, yeah, I was super impressed by how flexible Quinn was about going to school.

  4. OMG I cannot even imagine what my long-haired boy would do. And it’s winter! What kind of barber would imagine that a person with long hair would like it cut short in preparation for a snow storm? I’m sorry.

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