Jack’s Smile-a-thon

The Montgomery Cheetahs held their Cheetah-thon today. It was not just a lot of fun, but a great success in raising money to keep this amazing organization moving along.

Jack skated for two hours straight at the rink today. Two hours. With a smile on his face the entire time. (Except for about five minutes after he fell and hurt his knee. Then he had a grimace and tears on his face. But the smile came back.)

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This smile.

Seriously. Jack was so happy and relaxed on the ice. He has become very at home there and with these people. In fact, he kind of barnacled himself onto the head coach for much of that two hours. (Sorry, coach.)

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Does that do to your heart what it does to mine?

We are so lucky to have found this community. We love you, Cheetah Nation.

We also love our Stimeyland friends. I am exhausted and going to bed. But I wanted to post these photos so you know what you are a part of.

Thank you to everyone who donated, including friends and recent donors Joey and Andy. Thank you to everyone who donated in honor of a Cheetah who wasn’t Jack. (I know. There are others.) Thank you to those donors whom I suspect I know, but who didn’t mark down that they were donating in honor of Jack so I don’t feel right claiming you even if you actually do belong to me. (Yes. You are mine.)

The entire Cheetah Nation and I are so grateful to everyone on this list for your donations. We are also extremely grateful to the people who organized and ran the Cheetah-thon. It is a tremendous amount of work and we can’t possibly thank you enough.

In Which I Beg You For Money (Wait! Don’t Click Away!)

I feel like I haven’t bludgeoned you all over the head with information about Jack’s hockey team and their upcoming Cheetah-thon fundraiser quite enough yet this year. Maybe that is because I still have a post to write about some of the fun things Jack and I did in Lake Placid and I keep thinking that I will bludgeon you then, but I figured while I am “in the process of writing” (aka, staring blankly at my computer screen), I would take a moment to tell you how much it would mean to me and to all of the other Cheetahs families if you would consider donating to our Cheetah-thon.

Jack is the one with the arrow pointing at him. Wouldn't it be funny if I had the arrow pointing at some random kid?

Jack is the one with the arrow pointing at him. (Wouldn’t it be funny if I had the arrow pointing at some random kid?)

I took that photo above at Jack’s last practice of the season, which took place a little over a week ago. Jack has been skating with the Cheetahs for three years, and three years I have known that this is one of the most incredible things I have ever been involved in.

There are dozens of athletes that play on this team. There are dozens of mostly high school-aged mentors who help those players learn hockey skills. Those dozens of mentors have parents who drive them to early morning practices every Saturday and who plan our Cheetah-thon as part of Bar Mitzvah projects. There are dozens of family members of Cheetahs who watch their children and brothers and sisters with pride in their hearts as they see just how incredibly capable these athletes are. There is a whole team of coaches and volunteers who plan drills, coordinate ice time, organize the mentors, plan tournaments, and skate with the players.

I’ve said it before: Special hockey matters. There is magic in special hockey.

The Cheetahs have a direct day-to-day impact on all of those people that I mentioned above. Jack has made so many friends through the Cheetahs. He’s become stronger physically and he’s become braver mentally. He gets to be a part of something. That is huge.

Then there is the ripple effect. All of these players, mentors, and families reach other people, talk to other people, let them know how amazing these Cheetahs are—not just on the ice, but as people. The magic of special hockey spreads. The message that these young people—typical and with disabilities—and what they do, what they ARE, matter.

If you are local, please consider joining us on May 11 from 5-7 pm at the Rockville Ice Arena for our Cheetah-thon. Hang out, participate in our raffles, and if the spirit moves you, get on the ice with our wonderful players and mentors. Team Stimey will be there and we would love to see you!

If you can’t come in person, I would be so grateful if you could donate to the Cheetahs. This money goes toward ice time, tournament expenses for players who otherwise couldn’t go, and other expenses that directly help these players. The Cheetahs are an all-volunteer organization so you can feel comfortable knowing that all of your money will go directly to the players. It’s tax deductible too!

You can donate on the Cheetahs’ fundraising page or by mailing a check to the address listed there. Be sure to mention Jack if you are donating in his honor so I can thank you. Also, Team Stimey will be matching donations made in Jack’s name up to $500 total. Your $5 donation will become $10! Your $50 donation will become $100! Your $1000 donation will become…well, $1500. Anything helps. And anything is appreciated—not just by me but by the entire Cheetah Nation.

My medium-sized champion thanks you too.

My medium-sized champion appreciates it too.

Thank you so much to all the wonderful people who have already donated to the Cheetah-thon. Mir, Michal, Laura, Stacy, and my mom and stepdad, you are making magic. Thank you.

Team Stimey’s Cheetah-thon total thus far: $300. Wow. You guys are awesome. See? Magic.

Miracle on Film

So you know what the people in charge of this special hockey tournament did? They gave us free drinks, let our kids dance freely and joyously to a DJ, then they played a video of footage taken over the past few days at the tournament.

Needless to say, I might have sobbed a little bit.

The Cheetahs on the big screen.

The Cheetahs on the big screen.

I mean, we all know I cry at the drop of a hat, but there was more to it than that. I cried those tears of joy and gratitude because I am so lucky to be part of this amazing team and this amazing greater special hockey community. I also cried those tears for many other reasons.

I cried because the highlights from the games showed just how well these teams play hockey. It is so cool to watch these players in clips that show off their skill and enthusiasm. But more than that, they showed how these teams support each other and build each other up. I have never seen any sports teams demonstrate as much good sportsmanship as I have seen at special hockey tournaments. You see coaches helping players on other teams, you see players congratulating their rivals on scoring goals, you see respect all over the ice.

You also see Jack occasionally knocking someone on the helmet with his stick, but that didn’t make the highlight reel, thank God.

The highlight reel also featured the athletes talking about hockey, talking about their teams, talking about what an incredible experience the tournament is. See, I write a lot about how incredible special hockey is from my point of view—because it is my point of view—but hearing about special hockey from all those different players’ points of views? It doesn’t surprise me, but it does make my heart happy.

Special hockey matters. It really, really matters. I want to take a minute to tell all of you who donated to last year’s Cheetah-thon something: Every family that came on this tournament was offered a stipend of half of their tournament costs so that more players could afford to come. You guys gave this experience to some of our players this weekend. You guys. You did this. That matters. These players and their families thank you. I thank you. You helped magic happen this weekend.

I didn’t need a highlight reel to show me that this weekend was magic, but it was such a happy experience to see that magic onscreen. Jack and I will never forget this weekend. Thank you to the Cheetahs for that. Thank you to the other families, the other teams, and the tournament organizers for that. And also? Thank you for that. You made magic happen.

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The Cheetahs are holding their second annual Cheetah-thon this May. If you are looking to do some charitable giving, definitely consider this amazing organization. You can donate online here: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/mberger/2ndannualcheetah-thon

Thank you to Stimeyland’s first donation in honor of Jack: my mom and stepfather! Thank you so much!!

Placid

Hi, friends! Things are going well here in Lake Placid on Jack’s hockey tournament. We had a really lovely day exploring the town and the hotel and then Jack skated on one of the most famous ice rinks in all of America.

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Possibly my new favorite photo of Jack and me.

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That’s my baby skating on Olympic ice!

We did lots of really fun happy stuff today that I will tell you about later. We’re not going to dwell on the skinned knee from my dramatic fall to the sidewalk in front of practically everybody I know or the new, tessellated screen on my iPad resulting from an unfortunate meeting of it and some concrete. We’re just not going to fucking dwell on that shit, okay?

Instead, we’ll focus on how (with the exception of the 20 minutes after he dropped the iPad) every time I look at Jack when I’m on these tournaments, I am reminded of how in love with him I am and how lucky I am that he is in my life. He is adorable and hilarious and full of love and tenacity. I am so happy to be here with him.

Miracle on Bus

Jack and I are in Lake Placid, New York, right now with his special hockey team, the Montgomery Cheetahs. It is likely, if you have been around Stimeyland for a while, that you already know of the Cheetahs and the joy, opportunity, and community that they create—no more so than when out of town on a tournament.

Headed out of town

Headed out of town this morning.

These tournaments often mean far more to me than just watching my kid play a team sport. (Which, in and of itself, is kind of a big deal.) I was reminded of that this afternoon on our million-hour bus ride from DC to Lake Placid when I took a minute to sit back and notice some changes in Jack, long before he put a single skate on the ice in New York.

Jack has been playing hockey with the Cheetahs for three years now. He has been to special hockey tournaments in Boston, twice in Jamestown, New York, and now this one in Lake Placid. Two years ago when we went to Boston, we had a profound experience. I mean, it was profound like nothing I’d experienced before. But it was so goddamned hard at the same time.

Jack didn’t want to skate complete games at that tournament. He was dysregulated and overwhelmed. He didn’t know any of the other kids very well and therefore spent almost the entire weekend glued to my side—except when he was running off through crowds, leaving me to chase after him. I cried a lot of tears of stress that weekend and was buttressed by the community and my friends. I came away from that weekend with so much respect for the team, the players, the parents, the coaches, and for Jack.

The next year in Jamestown, I still cried a lot, but they were mostly tears of joy and amazement at the spirit of camaraderie and support between the players on the ice as well as the parents in the stands. It was a completely different experience, albeit with the same result: profound respect and gratitude to be a part of this group of people.

That tournament (and its sequel in Jamestown last November) showed me just how far Jack has come in the past couple of years.

I have no idea how the rest of the tournament this time is going to go, but I watched something today on the bus that made me take a moment to marvel at how much more interested in socializing Jack has become. Jack has always been lucky to have friends and he is very lucky to have a best friend (who is also a Cheetah, but didn’t come to the tournament this time). He is still very dependent, however, on scripts and familiarity. Back and forth unscripted conversation, especially with someone he isn’t already close to, doesn’t happen a whole lot.

A fellow parent first pointed it out to me. “They’re having a conversation,” she said, pointing at her son and mine giggling and talking as they played a game together on her son’s iPad. I sat back and took in the situation—Jack and a few of his teammates engaged in spontaneous conversation. I would watch him engage in this again later in the hotel swimming pool.

On the bus and at the pool, I watched Jack step out of Team Stimey’s safety zone to meet his teammates halfway. Instead of making them come to him, he went to them. This afternoon on the bus, Jack didn’t glue himself to my iPad in the seat next to me as he has in years past. He spent time walking up and down the aisles. Instead of staying in our two-seat world, he branched out, leaning over groups of kids playing games together, watching what other kids were doing, and sharing his own thoughts.

Frankly, it’s okay with me if Jack doesn’t like small talk with acquaintances. I find that kind of interaction to be extremely difficult as well. Regardless, it is often necessary and, with the right acquaintance, sometimes turns into something awesome. Also, there is no better way to discover new and fabulous things in the world than to hear someone else’s viewpoint. I’m glad that Jack is learning that too.

Now, certainly this isn’t all due to the Cheetahs. Jack has gotten older, he’s become more interested in other people, his abilities to cope and interact are greater, but I know that this team and its safe, supportive environment has been a big part of the development of his worldview.

I’m probably going to write a lot more about this tournament—and I plan to make a million and six Miracle on Ice jokes—but I also know that no matter how the hockey portion of the tournament plays out, Jack’s success in learning to be comfortable in a large, team environment like today’s bus trip has already made this trip (and the hours of practice and building blocks to get here) worth it.

What Happens in Jamestown Absolutely Doesn’t Stay in Jamestown

Jack and I got back from his hockey tournament in Jamestown, New York, on Sunday. We had an amazing time. Sadly, there was no wi-fi in my room, so I could only check email and try to write posts and stuff when Jack went swimming in the hotel pool with the free lobby-area wi-fi.

jean at the pool

I assume that if you are looking at photos of your child in the pool in front of you, that is almost as good as actually looking at your child in the pool in front of you, right?

Fortunately, Jack likes to swim. I’m going to give a conservative estimate of four to five hours spent in that pool over the weekend.

Jack in pool

Like this, only with 75 other small hockey players and a whole lot of splashing and some outraged yelling by Jack of, “My eyes! My eyes! I’m telling on you!”

The wi-fi situation was actually quite vexing, what with THE MAGIC OF SPECIAL HOCKEY but no ability to blog about it in the evening when I had time. The silver lining, of course, is that I got a tremendous amount of sleep.

Exciting as my sleep habits are to you, no doubt, let’s be honest, the reason you came here is to hear about hockey. We headed up on the team bus on Thursday afternoon, which was perfect because Jack had a math test that morning and he didn’t have to miss it. He might not agree with my assessment of the situation as “perfect,” however.

Alex was out of town on Thursday as well, which proved troubling, considering everyone comes from different schools on different bus routes at different times. Four separate groups of people stepped up to help us out and make sure that Quinn and Sam were safe and supervised on Thursday and Friday.

Some of those people went really above and beyond, having to babysit far longer than originally planned, due to a babysitter no-show and a late flight. For those of you who helped us out and who read here, I want to make sure you know how thankful we are to each of you for getting my kiddos home safe and then keeping them supervised so that Jack and I could take the bus. You are all part of the THE MAGIC OF SPECIAL HOCKEY. Thank you.

Before the first game.

Before the first game.

Jack played four games on Friday and Saturday. He did really well. I am not a big “you have to kick ass at sports!” kind of mom. I’m more of a “good for you, sweetie, for trying your hardest” kind of mom. Regardless, at this tournament I tried to put just a leeeeetle pressure on him to step it up a bit and pretend that he was skating in a hockey game instead of on a leisurely afternoon glide with his pals.

I encouraged (and by “encouraged,” read “bribed”) Jack to follow the puck and to go to the net and otherwise play as if hockey were a team sport. And he did. He managed to get some puck time this tournament and even stopped the puck with his stick—when the puck was moving. That’s real hockey, right there.

Opening face-off

He even got to do the very first face-off of the tournament, although I think that had more to do with pushiness on his part than earning the privilege.

He did such a good job. I am so proud of that kid. He played hard for the most part in all of his games with minimal complaining.

Jack and clock

Except for, you know, the stretch of time he spent ignoring the game going on behind him to inspect the game clock.

I am always blown away by my kid at these things. He is a total rock star. And you know what? Every single other kid that went to that tournament is too. It is phenomenal to see them rise to the challenge and energy of tournament play. Each of those players went out there and skated at the top of his (or her) current ability. At the risk of sounding like a total dork, it was really, really neat to watch.

And not for nothing, watching those same teammates play together in the swimming pool? I think that is pretty amazing too. The togetherness of the team and they way these kids get to know each other is almost as good as the hockey at the tournament. You remember…your baby is my baby.

Friday nights festivities were awesome, what with a pizza (and beer, oh thank the good lord, someone brought beer) party at the hotel. It was even the birthday of one of the players so there was cake. Also there were announcements, preceded by pre-announcements.

But beer and pizza and cake weren’t the end of it, no sir. The whole team had tickets to go see the local team, the Jamestown Ironmen, play an actual real game of hockey. And guess who was there?

The Ironman.

The Jamestown Ironman

He’s a little creepy, but that’s okay.

Jack and I left after two periods, but by all reports, this was a great game with a great overtime finish, in which the Ironmen skated to victory. It was, however, a little bit jarring to go from THE MAGIC OF SPECIAL HOCKEY to the IMMA KILL YOU OF SMALL TOWN HOCKEY, also known as THE MAGIC OF FISTICUFFS.

There was a lot of brawling. In my head, I was like, “Man, these teams must really hate each other.” But then in the other part of my head, I was all, “Or maybe it’s for show, like in wrestling.” I still am not sure where I come down on this issue.

Naturally, the children loved the fistfighting.

fisticuffs

I was curious about whether our players would start swinging fists the next day themselves. They did not.

After two periods, Jack’s ability to hang out at the rink was waning, so we took off, but not before we found the slushee machine. We watched it for a fairly good amount of time.

Oooooh, spinny!

There was a perfectly good hockey game going on behind him, but *this* is what held his attention.

Jack was pretty tired on Saturday morning, considering we woke up at 6:50 am and were at the rink at 7:15 for a 7:45 game. He was complaining that he’d strained his back (during his strenuous sleep activity, evidently), and he was pretty grumpy. During the game, he actually attempted to leave the ice at one point, but was encouraged to stick it out and he did. Hooray for everyone involved in that. You know who you are.

(If you’re wondering, his back was fine in very short order. I think he just had to warm up his muscles.)

Jack was actually very much a hero on Saturday, playing two games and fitting in two long swim sessions—as well as a solid chunk of iPad playing time.

The coach tried to convince him to be captain for either one of the two Saturday games, but Jack was having none of it. This was him at the morning game:

No Captain Jack for me, sir!

Jack’s attitude was all, “That sounds a lot like work that requires me to be upright and happy and I’m not willing to be either of those things.”

The great thing about Jack these days though, is that he managed to pull it together.

Upright Jack

See? Upright! Just like the hockey sticks!

Happy Jack

And happy too! Just like the hockey sticks!

After the last game, I updated Facebook to make a general statement about Jack’s awesomeness.

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And by the time I showed it to him the next day, 42 of you had liked it.

The team went out to dinner on Saturday night (that Applebee’s will never be the same) and the word that kept coming to me in terms of the Cheetahs was “safe.” I’m pretty sure I’ve used this word before to describe the Cheetahs community, but that’s because it is so apt.

The Cheetahs create a space where these players can be safe, physically and emotionally, and their parents can be as well. Whether it is at a practice or a tournament or in the friendships between players or the friendships between the parents, this team is truly a magical, safe place.

Jack and I are very lucky to have the Cheetahs and we are very lucky to be able to go on tournaments. But we don’t do it by ourselves. We have the help of the team leadership and coaches. We have the help of the other players and their parents. We have the help of the parent volunteers who plan out every detail of the complicated puzzle of tournament trips. We have the help of the Cheetah mentors who come to practice each week to make sure our kids learn hockey skills.

We have the help of Alex, Quinn, and Sam, who are willing to let us disappear for days at a time. We have the help of friends, neighbors, and babysitters who watched Sam and Quinn so we could go. We have the help of Jack’s teacher, who was excited to hear about his trip. We have the help of every single one of you who donated to the Cheetah-thon last year.

And we have the help of you. Yes, YOU. Don’t look behind you, I’m talking to YOU. I feel your support here all the damn time, but I feel it especially strongly when it comes to the Cheetahs. Your support of Jack and his team feels visceral to me. We are never alone when he is on the ice because you are always there with us.

YOU are part of the magic of special hockey—and that isn’t any small thing. Your support fills my whole heart.

So thank you. From all of us.

Jack and Stimey

Thank you for being a part of THE MAGIC OF SPECIAL HOCKEY! We are both happy AND upright!

Lucky You, We Have a Fall Hockey Tournament This Year Too!

Jack and I are bailing town this weekend. In addition to a travel hockey tournament we’re planning to attend next spring, the Cheetahs are taking part in a hockey tournament this weekend as well. It is in Jamestown, New York, which is the same place as last spring’s EX-TRAH-VA-GANZAAAA, so we’ll know what to expect at least.

However, it turns out that I have forgotten to plan/pack/notify Jack’s teachers/think about this tournament at all until, well, until just right now, so I don’t have time to write about how excited I am. Instead, I have to go charge all 75 devices I’m taking with me. And maybe locate some clean clothes we can wear en route.

No worries.

Until then, enjoy this video from last year’s Jamestown tourney. If you look closely, you’ll see Jack on the ice and you’ll also see me behind my camera, which is where I usually am at these things.

CHEETAHS GO TO JAMESTOWN! from Karen Whitehead on Vimeo.

My friend, fellow Cheetah mom and independent filmmaker, Karen Whitehead made that video. She also just finished a documentary about rock photographer Jini Dellaccio. Go check out her film’s site and like its Facebook page so you can keep updated on this great project.

I’m sure I’ll be babbling all over the interwebz about the tournament this weekend, so stay tuned!

#puckyeah