My kids are funny at school. I know this because once a year our school district has an open house day where you can go sit in on your kids’ classes without looking helicopter-y and like THAT mom. Being THAT mom, I totally go to all my kids’ schools.
Monday of this week was this year’s open house. I learned a lot of things that day. Without further ado:
20 Things I Learned at This Year’s Open House:
1. It is extremely exhausting to visit all three of my special sugar-encrusted snowflakes in their natural habitats. I was at school as long as my kids were. Plus, I didn’t get to pee or eat during that time. Note: I like to both pee and eat more often than every six hours.
2. Before deciding on the order of attendance at each of my kids’ schools, I should have probably checked the hours of the open house. I lucked into choosing the right order, but it turns out that open house for one ended at noon and for another ended at 12:40. Thank goodness I had coincidentally made those stops one and two.
3. Jack is a participator. He raised his hand in both classes that I observed him in. Including math. Math! And he did it with no noticeable angst or blushing. I always thought that if my maternity were ever questioned it would be because of Quinn and his blond hair. Turns out it’s going to be because of Jack and his friendliness and class participation and deep thoughts about math.
4. It is entirely possible that Jack has been lying about not having English homework every night, because I heard in class about the English homework he had and he sure didn’t volunteer that information when he got home.
5. Quinn puts an overly dramatic, “BRO!” at the end of responses he gives to his (female) teacher after he gives an answer.
6. Quinn is extremely lucky that his teacher is cool.
7. Quinn is going to make a ceramic candle holder in art class.
8. Quinn plans to get rich by mass producing ceramic candle holders like the one he’s designing for art class. He also plans to force his friends to be his workforce.
9. It is extremely difficult to find a parking spot at Sam’s high school.
10. Few parents go to open house at Sam’s high school.
11. Even *I* was a little embarrassed to be going to open house at Sam’s high school.
12. It was totally worth it to go to open house at Sam’s high school, because Sam is cool and I really like the relationship that I am developing with teenager Sam.
13. Going to a high school during the school day was vaguely uncomfortable and made me feel bad for all the kids who have to deal with four years of high school. It gets better, kids!
14. Sam learned in biology that the stomach can comfortably hold 33 ounces. This made both of us wonder how he ate that 50-ounce steak when we were on vacation in Wisconsin. (Yes, he really did. You’ll hear about it if/when I am finally able to finish writing about summer vacation.)
16. Stopping on the way home to buy food for you and your eating machine teenager will make you feel ever so much better.
17. I have three very amazing children who are so fantastically different and wonderful.
18. Even though part of me kinda hates open house day, part of me is so grateful for it.
19. Sorry, kiddos. I’m coming to open house day until the bitter end of Quinn’s senior year of high school.
20. I continue to be THAT mom.