Thursday, January 3, 2008

Dr. Pukatronic, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barf

Or, how Quinn lost all his Precious Bodily Fluids. (That's "puke-a-tronic," as in, "puke all over everything.")

I was happy when I woke up this morning. Sam and Jack went to school yesterday, but today Sam, Jack, AND Quinn were going to school. I was going to have two hours all to myself. Because of co-oping at school, sick days, and vacation, it was literally mid-December since I had a morning without some little person clawing at me.

I be-bopped downstairs only to hear Alex say, "Quinn puked in his crib last night." Quinn was laying on the couch, perky as hell. Apparently he'd greeted Alex by telling him that his bed was "muddy."

Poor Alex bore the brunt of my dashed expectations. He was nice enough to stay at home with Quinn while I took Sam to school, but I was stuck dragging the little sicky to the preschool because not only did Jack have school, but on Thursdays I drive another kid there.

We were about two minutes away from the school when Quinn started to look green. We had made it inside to the hallway before Quinn threw up orange puke all over us. So there I was, kneeling on the floor, hugging Quinn and afraid to let go of him because I knew the second I did, vomit was going to splash all over the floor, and I couldn't get anyone's attention. Finally my friend rounded the corner and took pity on me.

You know you have good friends when they help you clean up someone else's vomit. Thank you, H.

So there I was, with barf literally dripping down my pant leg onto my shoes and Quinn is standing there in his t-shirt looking kind of dazed and another mom starts talking to me about her child's hat. I was completely flabbergasted. But not for too long because I beat it on out of there.

We went home and watched some TV and cuddled. All was well again. Quinn regained his perk and then I had to battle him into a sweatshirt (his coat—and mine—were in the laundry machine) and haul him out to pick up Jack and my babysittee. I successfully dropped Jack off and was on my way to drop the other kid off when Q started to look distressed.

And here's the part I'm really proud of. I pulled over, whipped the sweatshirt off of Quinn and put it in front of him before he tossed his proverbial cookies. I'm particularly proud of this because we all know that my car doesn't get cleaned very often, plus it's really hard to get all of the vomit out of car seats (trust me on this one), so I really saved myself a lot of labor here.

We went straight home and took naps. Both of us. It. Was. Awesome. Now both of us are perky.

Another good friend picked Sam up at the bus stop and walked him home so I wouldn't have to wake Quinn up from his nap and drag him out into the cold. (Thank you, L.) "I'll bill you for the frostbite," she yelled as she ran home.

So now I'm letting my kids watch TV and I'm trying to avoid thinking about what to cook them for dinner. Because I really want to choose the thing that's going to be least offensive when we find it all over Quinn's crib tomorrow morning.


  1. pancakes, pancakes, pancakes...

    Avoid cheese and milk products (especially if there is ANY chance it will come back up in the car/carseat.) We learned the hard way with that one. Also avoid Kool-aid products. You know the bright red punch that all kids love. Especially if you think you want to sell your house and don't want buyers wondering why there are two huge red stains in the middle of your living room carpet.

    I'm amazed at your ability to have a conversation about a hat while dripping with puke. You deserve extra brownie points for that one!!

  2. Yup. I hear ya. We've been living on crackers and gatorade over here for the last week. It's all the boys can keep down.

    Me, I just like crackers and gatorade. (Have you TRIED Trader Joe's oyster crackers! Even a sick kid will nibble on those....)

  3. I hope he feels better, and no one else gets it. Moosie is a gagger and choker and puker (just randomly), so I have lots of experience with puking... and yes I am amazed by your fast save in the car! Moosie puked in the car this past weekend and I'm still, well, dealing with it.

  4. Oh my, been a long time since I've been there!
    Hope it doesn't spread!

  5. Good catch with the sweatshirt! I know how you felt ... I was so proud of myself last week when I dumped out a kleenex box to pass to SB seconds before he puked all over the car.

    Hope everyone is feeling better.

  6. UGH! Hope he's feeling better soon! Avoid things that have high fat content...they make the tummy worse AND they are harder to clean. Seriously.


Thanks for commenting! May you be visited by unicorns and kittens.